Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[PROGUY]

Granted, but right after you land a crocodile ate you.

I wish... for a friend.

[Auto-Destruct]

Done.  Your friend is world-famous musician Steve Perry, former lead singer of Journey.  Unfortunately, his archenemy, the deadly Antarctic Koala (known for its ravenous hunger, poisonous claws and posse of mafioso donkey transvestite clowns), is now after you as well.  Sleep tight!

I wish for donuts.  Delicious, delicious donuts!

[Natako]

Wish granted! You're served a towering platter of donuts in every type imaginable, from cream-filled to glazed to jelly. Each one has been dipped in Grandma's special lard sauce for that extra taste of homey goodness. Ravenous, you devour the entire stack and wash it all down with a glass of milk. Then you slowly start to lose feeling before finally having an enormous heart attack and dying. Too bad for you.

I wish I knew how to create beautiful artwork.

[drenrin2120]

Granted, you can paint like Michelangelo. However, just like dear Michelangelo, you're arrested for heresy and thrown into a 20 foot well filled with 5 feet of water and swarming with sharks, venomous snakes, and an angry bear.

I wish I hadn't chugged a liter of luke warm coke that made my gut feel like its about to explode.

Ps: love how every wish can be corrupted with one statement: granted, but then you die *insert horrible death*.

[Auto-Destruct]

Granted.  You didn't just chug a bottle of lukewarm Coca-Cola.  Instead, you just chugged two!  Your stomach violently explodes.

I wish I owned every old movie serial ever.

[drenrin2120]

Granted. You die.

I wish I had a million dollars and I don't die for the next twenty years atleast.

[Cerebus]

Granted. You receive your million, but then you fall ill. It's a unknown virus that leaves you unable to do anything. You look like you're 90 years old because of how devastating this virus is. You use your fortune on trying to find a cure. You spend your whole time in bed with no one around you because they're afraid of being infected. The only actual company you have are doctors in hazmat suits performing some test on you. They eventually give up when you run out of money. You're now completely alone for the rest of your life.
The good news is you won't die from it for at least twenty years.

I wish I could blow up a whole Continent and have everyone remember me for it.

[zuhane]

Granted. No catch.

I wish all the continents on earth were not blown up. Also, forget about Cerebus's existance.

[Natako]

Granted. The whole world becomes entangled in an epic war that never ends. It goes on and on, my friend.
Oh yeah, and then the world runs out of resources, the economy turns into a steaming pile of elephant dung, and Paris Hilton catches syphilis. What else is new?
Also, everyone dies. I almost forgot that part.

I wish my roommate wouldn't listen to really bad rap music all of the time.

[Cerebus]

Granted. She now listen to terrible Country musics all of the time.
You also have these songs stuck in your head... all of the time.

I wish I was able to teleport.

[Natako]

Granted. You wind up stuck in the Group Room from the Honey Bee Inn in Final Fantasy VII Land. Before you can observe your surroundings and teleport away from danger, a burly muscle man comes up behind you and hugs you so tightly that you practically lose consciousness. When you sober up, all you feel is pain...as if your fragile body had been ravaged by so many beefy, beefy men. You also have a heart-shaped tattoo on your left buttock that reads "Bubba".

I wish that my room could magically clean itself.

[SaiKar]

Granted. Everything you had in your room is now gone - totally clean!

I wish Natako wouldn't answer wishes with such creepy scenarios.

[Cerebus]

Granted. She stops. Everyone else start answering with even creepier scenarios.
You also suddenly appear in the Honey Bee Inn alongside me. I wink at you.

I wish I had Admin powers.

[MissingName]

Granted.  Shortly afterwards, the forum is hacked and collapses for good.

I wish I could read.

[drenrin2120]

Granted, but your glasses break, preventing you from reading. While waiting in the doctors office, your eyes fall out. You decide to participate in an experimental eye-transplant surgery. The surgery is a complete success! Unfortunately, you begin to have nightmares and strange visions. You soon discover the doctors had feared this would happen. Your new eyes are possessed by their by what their previous owner saw. Night after night, you dream you are teleported to a strange place called the Honey-Bee Inn. Gangs of men with blocks for hands (you suspect these may be tumors) set upon you with ravenous, violent passion.

I wish I could fly and had super strength to fight crime and clean up the streets!