Bull****

[Linkforce]

So, we all need somewhere/somepleace to vent.  Well....I dont really need to vent, but there are some things on my mind that I fell need to be out there.  I am a senior in my High School, and all the movies/stories/things people told me are horribly wrong.  Senior year is probably my worst year, and it's not because I'll be leaving everybody behind.  In fact, I could really care less.  (Before you start to read, I may jump from one thing to another because Im basically writing down thoughts).

A lot of this year is pure bullshitt.  Actually 99% is.  My friends, my girlfriend, my classes, the staff, the whole dang system.  Since September 11th (first day of Senior year) I have learnt things I can learn on the internet.  This knowledge is summed up into one period a day.  And its a damn elective too.  If it wasn't for the book I carry from class to class, I would probably be staring at a wall.
Now, it's not because I dont want to learn.  I know people say "Oh, learning isnt cool" or whatever.  I am actually very compelled to learn.  But it is near impossible to learn now.  I dont think the teachers even take the seniors seriously.  I wish that all the old teachers were fired and new, younger teachers took their spot.  

Im not trying to be emo as some claim I am.  In fact I am far from it.  I am just sick and tired of the bullshitt.  If it was visible to the naked eye, you could see the whole dang planet covered from space.  People are just too fake lately.  My friends; people I used to come to for all my problems, are now content to judging me from past experiences rather then dealing with a new me.

I have changed this year.  I think for the better, although if you followed me for a whole day, you would definetly not think so.  I LOOK like a sluggish lazy sack of crap.  But INSIDE, I am actually so aware of what's going around it's not even funny.  I can see the layers and layers of bullshitt all around.  My friends are no longer the people I once knew.  They're the people you see in the halls and say "hi" to, expecting them to say "hi" back.  A few days ago, I said hi to one of my friends, she turned, stared at me for a good five seconds, and then just turned around to talk to the person she already was.  Then at the end of the day, she acts like it was nothing.

Maybe it was bullshitt to her as well, but I dont really care now.  Because it WAS bullshitt.  I really dont care for them anymore.  I am with them for my prom and until the end of the year.  Once the year is over, Im basically done with them.  Same goes for my girlfriend.  Although it is very evil of me to do this to her, it is just another thing that does not phase me.  she's just not the girl for me.  Plain and simple.  I just need a prom date.  Dont bash me for this.  Its been long coming and everyone expects it.

Its funny because one time me and her got into a fight and when she tried to talk to me, I just laughed.  I smiled and giggled and laughed.  I couldnt help it.  It was like nothing Ive felt.  You can usually stop yourself from laughing, but I could not.  And nothing remotely funny was even said.  I wasn't even thinking of anything funny.

But she's not the big deal.  My friends are something that I dont care about either.  Probably what disturbs me the most is the fact that I feel like I am rotting away.  Im not going to gloat or be arrogant or whatever, but I am a smart kid.  I am not a stupid idiot who blows through all his classes like nothing.  My grades aren't the best, but I fail to believe that grades determine how smart you are.  Im just incredibly....incredibly lazy.  My dad always tells me that one day my laziness will kill me.  And I am 100% sure that that will be the cause of my death.  

The school system, at least mine, is anything but good.  It is the biggest joke.  I've learned more from the Discovery channel and the History channel.  I know how its Ironic how I use "Carpe Diem" a lot.  No this isn't advertisement.  I do believe in that you should seize each day.  But if you have nothing to seize then why bother?  Things dont just pop up at your doorstep when you want them to, although it did for me.  I got a job just by sitting around.  It just so happens that an old manager needed someone and now I have my old job back.  Its a good job.  But thats besides the point.

I pray that everyone, before they die, has at least fought for something they truly truly believed in.  I pray that I do at least.  And if I don't reach what I fight for, I wont stop.  If it kills me, I will fight for whatever I believe in.  People always say they want to be a fireman when they grow up, or a police man.  I think they just want to help people.  

Thats what I want to do.  God knows it, I want to help people that want help and are willing to help themselves.  So that people like me can achieve what they are fighting for.  Myself.

[aboutasoandthis]

I've seen a picture of you with a guitar. Go write a song.  :p

Through all of that random stuff, I see a bit of what you're talking about. Especially with the what you're learning in school thing.

My guess it's this "preparation for college" thing. One of the best teachers I've ever had gave it to me plain and simple. They make you do ****, and you get a degree to prove it. While you do need intellect to go to college, a degree is really a sign of work ethic.

A lot of people say I'm a genius or something. I wouldn't really say that, but I do try to think things through, look at all sides of the issue. A lot of people wanna see me with straight A's, and to go to college, get a good job, stuff like that.

That life is fine, but I want to learn art and stuff. I'm not just talking about drawing (I can draw ;P), but other kinds of art. I don't just like sitting taking Math & English and not really learning anything.

What I truely learn and use in my life, I end up learning for myself. It's like I'm not going to school to learn, but to look good for myself. Maybe that's why I like using RPG Maker so much.

It's like nobody is really helping me learn either. Why are my parents and teachers advertising me as this brilliang student, when my little brother is the one who gets to be the Jock and the Artist?

I'm the one who taught him to draw, and who taught him to play different sports, yet he's the one on the Basketball Team, the Track Team, the Football Team, and is taking these art classes sponsored by the local college. He's even getting true music lessons while I'm still playing by ear. WTF!

I guess I'm a little jealous of him. He did tell me he's always wanted to learn the stuff I like. I dunno.

Sorry I used your topic Linkforce. This ended up being a long post. I think I needed this. lol

[MrMister]

http://www.livejournal.com
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:awesome:

[Cosmos]

Oh mr let'em vent. Livejournal isn't all that great <<

[MrMister]

Originally posted by Midnight
Oh mr let'em vent. Livejournal isn't all that great <<

yeah but it isn't here

[Osmose]

AP Classes.

[ZeroKirbyX]

Originally posted by MrMister

Originally posted by Midnight
Oh mr let'em vent. Livejournal isn't all that great <<

yeah but it isn't here[/B]

FTW.

[Linkforce]

Originally posted by aboutasoandthis
I've seen a picture of you with a guitar. Go write a song.  :p

Through all of that random stuff, I see a bit of what you're talking about. Especially with the what you're learning in school thing.

My guess it's this "preparation for college" thing. One of the best teachers I've ever had gave it to me plain and simple. They make you do ****, and you get a degree to prove it. While you do need intellect to go to college, a degree is really a sign of work ethic.

A lot of people say I'm a genius or something. I wouldn't really say that, but I do try to think things through, look at all sides of the issue. A lot of people wanna see me with straight A's, and to go to college, get a good job, stuff like that.

That life is fine, but I want to learn art and stuff. I'm not just talking about drawing (I can draw ;P), but other kinds of art. I don't just like sitting taking Math & English and not really learning anything.

What I truely learn and use in my life, I end up learning for myself. It's like I'm not going to school to learn, but to look good for myself. Maybe that's why I like using RPG Maker so much.

It's like nobody is really helping me learn either. Why are my parents and teachers advertising me as this brilliang student, when my little brother is the one who gets to be the Jock and the Artist?

I'm the one who taught him to draw, and who taught him to play different sports, yet he's the one on the Basketball Team, the Track Team, the Football Team, and is taking these art classes sponsored by the local college. He's even getting true music lessons while I'm still playing by ear. WTF!

I guess I'm a little jealous of him. He did tell me he's always wanted to learn the stuff I like. I dunno.

Sorry I used your topic Linkforce. This ended up being a long post. I think I needed this. lol

Well, I have made a song or two on it, but it doesn't really matter.  Well, my songs do to me.  Those are not b.s.  
And I dont mind that you "ranted" as well.  Feel free to contribute.  Your post was about the only worthwhile post thus far.

[drenrin2120]

 

yeah but it isn't here

Hey, you guys have started plenty of threads far less worth while than this.


To LF: I kinda get what you mean. I myself am feeling pretty lost right now, like, after high school, what happens? And after college, where do I go? and when I'm 40 years old with half my life gone, what will I have to show for it? I guess the only answer is to do the things you truly want and to achieve the goals most important to you. What makes it hard is how easy it is to lose sight of things from morals and ethics to goals and what makes you be as a person.

[Razor]

Originally posted by Linkforce
Your post was about the only worthwhile post thus far.

QFT. Everyone else ITT sucks.

[SaiKar]

Not a rant

Fess up; it's a rant.  :p

It sounds like you being lazy is just burning out. It happens. Lord knows it happened to me. But as soon as you get too deep into the "I'm awesome on the inside, no matter how bad I look on the outside" type mode it becomes a downward slide. Every little thing you decide not to care about adds up and every day you don't care it gets harder to get back to old habits.

"My grades aren't the best, but I fail to believe that grades determine how smart you are." is exceptionally dangerous. If you're slacking on homework it probably means you'll slack later at a job and at maintaing your house and family. And on those later two you don't get a paper back saying "A+!" or "F", it's all guesswork. Best to get good at it while you have decent feedback.

It's not the system that's bullshit. You're just lacking vision. Right now you don't have much control over your life. That and everything else will change. Always ALWAYS try to keep in mind that a lot in life is temporary. Do what you have to do, do a good job at it, and be prepared to move on. Try to get back in your routines before they fall apart completely.

[Dragonium]

School's not everything. Yes, it is important, but it's not the most important thing.

According to friends and teachers, I apparently "have it made at school" (Because I'm "good" at English and a few other subjects). Doesn't make me any happier to know that.