TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!

[Archem]

You reconsider your TOTALLY AWFUL first plan and decide to case the joint. The ABANDONED BUILDING doesn't seem to have any way around the side, and is attached to the buildings next to it - a LAUNDROMAT, and a PAWN SHOP.

[X_marks_the_ed]

>ENTER the PAWN SHOP and PURCHASE an EYE PATCH and FALSE MOUSTACHE.

[fruckert]

> Do that, that sounds pretty righteous.

> Wait, righteous? Who talks like that?

> Monologue about how the voices in your head say really crazy **** sometimes.

[Natako]

> Investigate the PAWN SHOP further.

[Archem]

You scuttle over towards the PAWN SHOP. You try to PULL on the DOOR, but it remains static. You would try PUSHING instead, but you spot a SIGN on the DOOR that read: "Out to Lunch". Perhaps you should try coming back later.

[Archem]

You SPRINT past the GANG MEMBERS and into the LAUNDROMAT. The building is surprisingly empty, especially given that a handful of machines are currently running. You trip over a few piles of FILTHY CLOTHING and start looking for something of interest.

[Natako]

> Search the LAUNDROMAT for anything that might have been...left behind.

[fruckert]

> Make a spot check first, to make sure the building is actually empty.
> Pinch your nose and then search the FILTHY CLOTHES.

[Archem]

You begin digging through other people's UNMENTIONABLES. This shameful habit is one you've developed from keeping your unwashed clothes in your ROOM WHERE YOU THROW YOUR FILTHY, FILTHY CLOTHING. After much sifting, you find THREE (3) RUBBER BANDS, a LOVE NOTE, TWO (2) CELL PHONES, and a WALLET.

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED!

[Natako]

>Read LOVE NOTE.
>Giggle like a SCHOOLGIRL.

YOU ARE A MAN!

[fruckert]

> RIFLE WALLET with MUCH PASSION

[Archem]

You rifle through the WALLET without a shred of concern for the fine person who owns it. An upstanding and moral citizen, you are. Most of the contents include EXPIRED GIFT CARDS, a few RECEIPTS with the ink worn off, a couple of BABY PICTURES (likely not those of the WALLET's owner), and an ID. Too bad they didn't keep their EGO and SUPEREGO in there, too. You decide that there isn't anything worth salvaging from the WALLET, but you hold onto it anyway, just in case you bump into its owner.

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED:

WALLET

You direct your attention towards the LOVE NOTE, and, with no respect for other people's privacy, begin to read it. Goodness, the saucy bits and obscene acts that are described in this LOVE NOTE! They're nearly enough to make you FAINT! HAND-HOLDING, DRIVE-INS, and KISSING ON THE LIPS are all present! Fortunately, you are a MAN! You quickly gather your bearings and laugh it off as silly teens' fantasies. Your laughter, however, has been frequently described as something not unlike a GIRLISH GIGGLE, so you restrain your laughter for a time when you feel more confident.

[fruckert]

> Feel more confident.

> See if there's any change on the ground.

[Archem]

You get a hold of yourself (without resorting to MASTURBATION), and begin checking the FLOOR for CHANGE. Sure enough, something has CHANGED! A trail of FOOTPRINTS left in the muck-infested CLOTHING leads off behind one of the WASHING MACHINES. You're sure that wasn't there when you came in. Then again, you weren't paying much attention to the grimy piles of nasty that litter the place.

[fruckert]

> SLEUTHTECH LVL 4: ELEMENTARY DEAR BOY: Deduct that behind the washing machine is a SECRET ENTRANCE to the GANG HIDEOUT.