Charas Pub

[Razor]

QUEST FIVE: BLEEP!
Drace: What? *turns 8 bit* Bloop!
Razor: Bleep beep!
Warxe: Zoop!
Odin: Bleep Bep Bloop Blin!
Warxe: Bloooooooop! *dies*

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: I'll have a dry martini, please.

[Razor]

Razor: *becomes a SNES quality polygon thing* here ya go, guv
MT11: *drinks* whew, it's a bit dry. *starts drying up*
Razor: as it should be!
MT11: *slowly dehydrates, dies, turns into a skeleton which turns into dust*
Razor: Real dry!

[Moosetroop11]

Jackie Chan: That reminds me of a movie I was in where...

Dragonium: HWAAAAAAAAAA! *Karate kicks Chan in the groin*

Jackie Chan: Ooouuughhhh... *Falls over*

[Tomi]

Tomi:  That was really a robot of Jackie Chan, and theres a bomb in him!!!!!
Razor:  Evacuate the pub--*a splode!!!!*

All:  *Toasted...*

[WarxePB]

*wins*

[Bluhman]

"And they lived happily ever after... in heaven." Bluhman said as he shut the book. He drew out his pipe and began to smoke in his ancient, victorian mansion. Suddenly, Razor kicked him in the head. Bluhman died.

[Razor]

Red Giant: Why did you open a random book, say what you said, which I might point out isn't even in the book, and then close the book?
Razor: He did it to emulate that all that had happened to this point was in fact a story. Also, he died, so why ask him?
Red: Ask questions later. Kill first. It makes sense.
Razor: What? No it doesn't.
Red: *kills Razor* See?

[WarxePB]

QUEST SI-

-Warxe: Shut up already! *kills MT11*

-Xios: How did you manage to kill something?

-Warxe: Through the magical powers of narration!

-Xios: Hmm, I see. Wait... if I could control this 'narration...'

-Kratos: ...you could rule the world?

-Xios: Shut up!

-Kratos: Your predicability never ceases to amaze me... *grabs a beer mug and smashes it over his own head*

-Xios: Ah ha! I shall become the new Narrator!

-Warxe: shut up n00b... Wait, I didn't mea-

-Xios: You dare insult your god!?!?!?!?!? *Warxe impodes in the most gruesome way imaginable*

-Jani: Stupid boys... *slaps Xios*

-Xios: Eh?

-Jani: You heard me. *slaps self*

-Xios: Stop hitting yourself! *Jani slaps herself* Stop hitting yourself! *Jani slaps herself* Ha ha, revenge is sweet! *Xios' arm falls off*

-Kratos: Heh... *Xios' other arm and a leg fall off*

-Jani: *Xios gets eaten by a giant bear that suddenly appeared in the pub*

-Warxe: *dies* Er, crap... uh, *Xios comes back to life as a pineapple* That's it!

[Razor]

*bear eats everyone*
Razor: Blast.
Warxe: I died, but now I'm alive! Hazoo!
Xios: Silence! *kills Warxe, but he respawns*
Drace: So how will we escape?
Razor: Ok. Here's the plan. Drace, you and MT11 and Bluhman go down the colon, see if you can find us an escape tunnel. Me and Warxe and others will stay here, so that one of you guys can come back and tell us if there's a way out.
Drace: Whatever!
MT11/Bluhman: Yay! *they all leave*
Razor: Come on then.
Warxe: Where you going?
Razor: Through the mouth, of course! Only an idiot would go that way.
Xios: Precisely. Hey, where's Zero?
***
Zero: Hey guys, wait up!
Drace: Hurry up, you, you, yeah!

[Bluhman]

*in the large intestines*

Bluhman: *draws out lit dynamyte*
Drace: What the!? Why are you doing that!? We'll all die!
Bluhman: No we won't! It's full of stomach poison!
MT11: What's the point of it?
Bluhman: Simple! it'll make the bear throw up!
Zero: Works for me, though it sounds a bit odd.
Dynamite: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO-MUH!

*Back in the stomach*

Razor: Did you hear something?
Flood: *Comes raging along up through the small intestines, spleen, and all those other body parts unbothered to mention.*
Warxe: *Caught up in the flood of gutjuice and poop* AAAAGHH and EEEWWW!!!

*Outside*

Bear: BARF. *Dies*
Bluhman: We're saved!
*Everyone catches horrible diseases due to lack of sanitation*

[Razor]

DISEASE! CATCH THEM ALL!
Razor: I got menangococcyl!
Warxe: I got heppititus B!
Drace: I got leprocy!
Bluhman: I got syphallis!
Everyone but Bluhman: O_o
Everyone and Bluhman: *laughs*
DISEASE! CATCH THEM ALL!

[WarxePB]

-Warxe: Hey, I wonder if we can make these things fight? Hey, Drace, I challenge you to a duel!

-Drace: Bring it!

-Warxe: Hepatitus B, use Instant Death on Leprosy!

*Leprosy takes 200 damage*

-Drace: Counter it with Dismembered Arm!

*Hepatitus B takes 200 damage*

-Lawyer: I use Copyright Infringement linked with Billion-Dollar Lawsuit!

*Hepatitus B and Leprosy take 500 million damage. Hepatitus B and Leprosy faint!*

-Lawyer: I'm a representative of Pokemon! We're suing all of you for 1... BILLION.... DOLLARS... EACH! *holds pinky to mouth*

-Warxe: But we don't have that much...

-Lawyer: Well, get it. Or else... *walks away laughing*

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: Look! A loophole!

Lawyer: WHERE?!?!

Dragonium: *Shoots Lawyer in the face with a shotgun*

Razor: O_o

Dragonium: You'd be surprised how effective that is sometimes.

Razor: ...

Drace: ...

Dragonium: ...

Razor: ...

Dragonium: *Dies of omglolpwneditis*

Everyone and Bluhman: W000t!! *Party breaks out*

[Razor]

Drace: *bites Warxe*
Warxe: Ow! Why'd you do that?
Drace: Cause you told me to.
*flash back*
Warxe: Drace, bite me.
*flash forward*
Warxe: That never happened!
Drace: Want me to replay the flashback?
Warxe: Hmpf.
Full Moon: *appear*
Warxe: *turn into Drace*
Razor: WTF?
Drace: He turned into a WereDrace.
WDWarxe: You mean I'm Drace now?
Razor: *hands mirror*
WDWarxe: *sees reflection* OMG *shoots self*
Drace: Hey! Should I be taking that as an insult?
Razor: Yes Drace.
Drace: Hey!