Charas Pub

[Meiscool-2]

MIC: *pulls drawstring on doll*
Reddoll: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Moosetroop11]

Doll: eeeeeeeeee  eeeee  eeee  eee  ee e e e e. e. e.... e. *Falls over and burts into flames*
MT11: *Looks on red doll's back which says MADE IN AMERICA* Aww crud.

[Dragonium]

*Enormous random swarm of slugs invades pub and slowly devours everything*

Dragonium: Oh look. Another delightful plot twist has come to our door. How lovely. *Shoots self*
Slugs: *Leave pub and go away*
Dragonium: *Revives somehow*

*Awkward silence*

MT11: Ahem... I said, "Aww crud".

*Awkward silence*

*Pub continues as normal*

[Meiscool-2]

MT11: *burts into flames* I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but it's funny.

[Kinslayer]

Ks: "Don't worry Moose! I'm gonna turn those flames off!"

*grabs a bottle and throws it over MT11*

Ks: "Oh wait... that was tequila...!"

*Ms11 bruns faster and Ks is trapped in flames*

Ks: "Darn! I'm ON FIREEE!!!!"

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!Hahahaha oh wait I'm dying. Well.. I guess that is kinda funny. We will die in battle, Kinslayer my friend.

Kinslayer: AAARGH! FLAMES!!!

MT11: Yes, yes. Flames. They are pretty.

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: *Hands round marshmallows on sticks, rebranded as "Moosemallows"*

[Grandy]

 *Grandy come in in a FFT theif outfit*
 Grandy: Why do I feel this anooying Devá-Vů, like as if I have entered this pub, seen it destroyed, seen it rebuid, seen it travel back in time to enter again, seen it destroyed, seen it rebuilt, and then traveled back in time again?

[WarxePB]

Warxe: That's a pretty confusing time paradox, man. *twitches*

[Meiscool-2]

Just then, something happened!
MIC: Who the hell are you?
I'm the man that narrates.
Warxe: When did you join up?
I've been here since day one. I've been watching all your actions and telling the public about them.
Bluhman: All our actions?
Yes, all of them.
Archem: Even our actions in the bathroom?
Yes... even those actions.
Drace: *shutters*

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: *shutters* I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but it's funny.

[Tomi]

Tomi: Hey Mr. Narrator Dude!
Yes?
Tomi: Why don't you have your name next to what you say like the rest of us?
It is.
Tomi: No it's not..
Yes it is, it is antimatter though, so it just kills you.
Tomi: Oh, ok. *dies*

[Archem]

Archem: Well, I guess I'm never going to the bathroom again. Ever.
Why? I liked that thing you did with the duct tape and the cat!
Archem: SHHHH!!!
...
Archem: That's better. *eats a bologna sandwich* Oh no! Processed meat-like foodstuff! My only weakness! *joins the currently deceased*

[WarxePB]

Warxe: Are you just an observer?
I am omnipotent. I can do whatever I like.
Warxe: Uh, I think you're just omniscient.
Shut up.
Warxe: Oh? What're you gonna do?
I'll... reveal your deepest, darkest secret to everyone!
Warxe: Sure, you can do that... but it won't mean anything unless you can push this here beer mug a few centimeters.
WARXE THOUGHT HE WAS A GIRL UNTIL HE WAS 14!
All: ...O_o
Warxe: That's all you've got? There's far worse things than that in my life. For example, you never mentioned that I was in diapers until I was 10, or that I eat the souls of nine virgins per day to keep my own soul out of Hell (hence why I can ceaselessly resurrect myself). AND you didn't even touch on the genocide of about 10 entire universes, which I used to form an indestructible set of armor for my gay love partner Zero!
Zero: *comes in wearing spiffed-out golden armor* It's true.
Warxe: So, you're not even omniscient! You're just some disembodied voice!
NOOO! I WON'T HAVE IT!
Warxe: Time to take to the astral plane to kick your icheoplasm! *disappears* *reappears a few seconds later*
Ha! I win!
Warxe: ...shut up. *grabs his Kijuki doll and violently stabs it with a fork*

[Ben]

Gem: What the hell is even going on here?