Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Rahl]

Ok now you on a rope tied to a commercial airliner 4,00 ft in the air. (I know bad joke.)

I wish for my new laptop to get here sooner.

[_JeT_]

Granted, but it was dead on arrival.

I wish I could be a feared supervillain, who had a giant army to do his bidding.

[Rahl]

Granted but they only do one bidding before they revolt against you amd make you sodomize baby fish.

I wish my gf wasnt making me watch "The Sound of Music".

[Rahl]

Granted her name is Chip and she rides a Harley.

I wish Christmas came twice a year.

[fruckert]

Granted, but they came an hour after eachother.

I wish it was nighttime.

[Rahl]

Granted, in a few hours.

I there was more time in the day.

[Hirochi-Zangus]

granted, day lasts 23 hours, night lasts 1 hour...

I wish we found an Earth like planet that was always dark ans people colonized it.

[_JeT_]

Granted, but it is inhabited by violent mole people, who massacre all the human colonists.

I wish I had a working, unmodified AK-47, with plenty of rounds of ammo.

[_JeT_]

Okay. You are now under arrest for owning a gun. Because you are not supposed to own one.

Why would I be arrested for owning a gun?

I wish I could turn into Goku.

Granted. But you get his heart disease and die.

I wish lucas would make sense for once.

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Granted. But he makes sense speaking Portuguese, not English.

I wish I was a Saiyan.

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Okay, você é. Infelizemente, você é destruido junto com o planeta deles.

Without using a translator of any sort, but rather my knowledge in Spanish... Something about me being unhappy, and being destroyed on a planet? Planet Vegeta, I assume, since it's the Saiyan planet, and it was destroyed...

Eu queria falar em inglês novamente.

You want to speak English again? Or fail at it?

Granted, you can speak English again, but you can only use consonants. Have fun.

[fruckert]

Granted, but now no more of your posts count.

I wish that lucas's sig would be animated.

[fruckert]

Granted, but it is the most halfassed job that it looks like hell.

[_JeT_]

Uh... You die?

I wish that I had the power to shoot lasers from my toes.

[carrionmarksman]

Granted, but while testing you accidentally hit a mirror and it reflects a beam back at you.

I wish that Call of Duty 4 sucked.