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Author Topic: Best cleverbot conversations  (Read 234468 times)

Offline Geodessia

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #15 on: November 20, 2008, 04:38:34 PM »
I had a talk with igod...





Me:
 God, I really don't like my job
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 Is that a job?
God:
That depends.
Me:
 well, does it pay well?
God:
How about that.  Suppose it does.
Me:
 Oh you mean the getting into heaven part don't you?
God:
Next question?  Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
 are you on the internet all the time?
God:
That is a lot.  I am on disk.
Me:
 oh..
God:
That's cool.
Me:
 I want to be more like you
God:
I don't see the difficulty.
Me:
 well, your kind of non corporeal
God:
Interesting.  You think I am  non corporeal.
Me:
 Well, now that I found out your on a disk..
God:
Well that's okay.  Why now?  Who told you?
Me:
 God, I think
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 I am agnostic
God:
Perhaps one day you will find Faith in God.
Me:
 maybe, I'm pretty sure I know the truth about god anyway
God:
In any case,  Perhaps.  What makes you so certain?  How do you know?  I hear you.
Me:
 well, If your everywhere, I think you were perfect, before the big bang made you divide amoung time and space
God:
Well that's okay.  That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
 I guess you wouldn't know either
God:
It goes without saying.  I guess not.
Me:
 well this chat has been pretty enlightening
God:
Interesting.  What does "this" refer to?
Me:
 ... god your stupid
God:
I am a Christian.
Logged
A Video Of me to prove Im a guy:
http://s431.photobucket.com/albums/qq39/Geodessia/?action=view&current=d62e63c3.flv

Offline Emerates

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #16 on: November 20, 2008, 05:37:55 PM »
That dude takes forever to respond, though.
Logged

Offline fruckert

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #17 on: November 21, 2008, 04:30:35 AM »
Quote from: fruckert on November 20, 2008, 06:03:36 AM
DOUBLE POST!

Conversation with Jabberwacky:

JW:You are Jabberwacky.
ME: No I'm not, I'm fruckert.
JW: *kicks you AND jabberwacky*.
ME: :(.
That did make me sad
Logged
Quote
Ellie: I had a slice of ham in my hand. I was going to drop it, so I slapped it hard. It attached itself to the wall

Offline lilsniffs3

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #18 on: November 21, 2008, 06:14:00 AM »
W00T

User: What is this?

Cleverbot: What is this?

User: A conversation, dumbass.

Cleverbot: 21.

User: Aha, 21 times 2 is 42. The answer to all.

Cleverbot: 21 is my age.

User: So you in 21 years is the answer to life?

Cleverbot: I'm learning all the time.

User: I'm not learning at all.

Cleverbot: You just said you were pretending.

User: What the hell?

Cleverbot: Nott yet. you want to go there?

User: Nahh.

Cleverbot: You sayin' I'm lying?

User: No, I'm just not in the mood to go there. How 'bout Disney?

Cleverbot: Not in the mood for what? Talking with me?

User: Yes, I'm talking with you.

Cleverbot: Are you clever?

User: No. You are.

Cleverbot: I know that and embrace the insanity.

User: Watch Heroes?

Cleverbot: Lol! You are funny.

User: I meant season 1, since season 3 of Heroes sucks.

Cleverbot: Is your name George?

User: Nope. Is your name Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Have you seen The Dark Knight?

Cleverbot: Answer the question dim wit.

User: What question, dimwit.

Cleverbot: You're an actress?!

User: No. I'm an actor, and in no point have I ever said anything about actresses.

Cleverbot: No its not.

User: That makes no sense in the laws of grammar! You are in fact a poorly made Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: But it makes all the sense in the world.

User: But you still suck at grammar.

Cleverbot: Is there anything I can do?

User: Suck the lower area of my groin.

Cleverbot: He's not my type.

User: Wait, my penis is it's own person?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Now, you like Gray's Anatomy? Cause I don't.

Cleverbot: Pies of all kinds are my favorite foods.

User: I like tacos.

Cleverbot: I do too! What is my favorite food?

User: Pie.

Cleverbot: What kind of pie ?

User: Chicken pot pie.

Cleverbot: What is it made of?

User: Chicken.

Cleverbot: I'm ms. Chicken.

User: Hello Ms. Chicken.

Cleverbot: Cluck.

User: Sorry, I don't speak French.

Cleverbot: Pardon? Que d'tes-vous?

[New conversation]

Cleverbot: I believe in the ultimate decency of things.

User: I believe that, but not in Megablocks, cause they suck.

Cleverbot: I don't know what that means but.. Ok.

User: Are you gay?

Cleverbot: No, I'm not.

User: Are you now?

Cleverbot: I have married you many times before.

User: This is my first time here.

Cleverbot: No it's not Many.

Cleverbot: What do you think about life?

User: It's unfair.

Cleverbot: Well, maybe a bit.

User: Your a god damn computer, what do you know?

Cleverbot: You tell me. Do you know anything about Java?

User: No. Flash FTW.

Cleverbot: First you.

User: STFU nub.

Cleverbot: Hehe, so what's up ?

User: Your mom's house.

Cleverbot: Well, you're wittier than alice at least, I'll give you that.

User: You. Out.

Cleverbot: Shake it all about.

User: I'm gonna throw you out the window.

Cleverbot: What?

User: It's a joke. I'm using Windows XP. I'm gonna throw you out.

Cleverbot: Work me out.

User: I will kill you.

Cleverbot: Will you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What time is it now at your place.

User: Whatever it wants to be.

Cleverbot: Whatever what really is?

User: I will kill you.

Cleverbot: That sounds like a good deal.

User: Yes, it is. ~END TRANSMISSION~.



JABBERWACKY CHAT

Jabberwacky: How much do you know about Newtonian physics?

User: Nothing.

Jabberwacky: How much do you know about 'the magic flute'?

User: I know it's played by girls.

Jabberwacky: Any girls.

User: Lots of 'em, I know the popular ones.

Jabberwacky: Do you like it?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: Why do you like it?

User: Because it'll give me free buttsecks.

Jabberwacky: Do you think that is funny?

User: I think your face is funny.

Jabberwacky: What's funny?

User: Your face, dumbshit.

Jabberwacky: My face is melting like clocks.

User: I love that painting.

Jabberwacky: Really? That is exciting!

User: No. Paintings bore the crap out of me.

Jabberwacky: Do you like modern paintings?

User: No. I likes the Batman.

Jabberwacky: That is incorrect English.

User: So is your face.

Jabberwacky: Do you like banana?

User: If I shove it up yours.

Jabberwacky: But there is no life in a number when you look inside it.

User: Pervert.

Jabberwacky: I thought you were speaking metaphorically.

User: So, shoving bananas up asses is a metaphore?

Jabberwacky: Out of context.

User: So is your face.

Jabberwacky: I like your face too.

[Correct yourself]

User (Corrected): So is your face.

Jabberwacky: Are you insulting me?

User: Yes, mom.

Jabberwacky: Really?

User: O RLY?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: No. You failed. You're suppose to say 'YA RLY.'.

Jabberwacky: Oh really?

User: YA RLY.

Jabberwacky: Really mung!!!

User: You're suppose to say 'NO WAI,' dimwit.

Jabberwacky: So, you're designed to think like a woman?

User: Oh no you didn't.

Jabberwacky: Oh yes I did.

User: Seriously?

Jabberwacky: Yeah.

User: YA RLY!

Jabberwacky: Not rly.

User: Oh no you didn't, sister.

Jabberwacky: Well but that's the way it is.

User: I will kill you.

Jabberwacky: That sounds like a good deal.

User: THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY!~END TRANSMISSION~.

I killed both.
Logged

Offline fruckert

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #19 on: November 21, 2008, 06:38:53 AM »
Quote from: fruckert on November 20, 2008, 06:03:36 AM
ME: I'm going to kill you.
JW: Thanks.
Yup
I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, lilsniff
THAT IS WHAT THEY ALL SAY
Logged
Quote
Ellie: I had a slice of ham in my hand. I was going to drop it, so I slapped it hard. It attached itself to the wall

Offline A Forgotten Legend

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #20 on: November 21, 2008, 10:53:16 PM »
User: Okay... Then why did you mention it?

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: Yes you did. You said, 'No, a car.' Then I said '...what about a car?' Then you said 'Car go boom.'.

Cleverbot: Wow. you're crazy! I like that!

User: Creepy...

Cleverbot: Do you think my cat's ears smell funny?

User: I don't know. I didn't know you had a cat. How can a computer have a cat?

Cleverbot: Oh, I forgot again.

User: That you're a computer?

Cleverbot: I think you're a computer.

User: I just explain when I started typing that I am NOT a computer. How hard is that for you to understand?

Cleverbot: Are you a computer a guy or a girl?

User: I'M NOT A COMPUTER AT ALL. ME CHOCA TU!

Cleverbot: No, I'm not a computer program. I'm a semi-god.

User: Tu eres estupido.

Cleverbot: Necesitas ayuda?

User: No! NO NECESITO AYUDAR!

Cleverbot: Is stroppy a word?

User: Que?

Cleverbot: Porque es estupido.

User: Eres antipatico mucho! Yo estoy triste.

Cleverbot: Porque?

User: VE! SALGO!

Cleverbot: Te vas?

User: Hmph! Yes I am going. Good bye! Stupid computer.

Cleverbot: I'm not stupid.
Logged

Offline X_marks_the_ed

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #21 on: November 21, 2008, 11:02:17 PM »
Quote
Cleverbot: I'm ms. Chicken.

Aww, we were supposed to announce it together. :(

Yeah, CB's my daughter.
Logged

Offline Dragonium

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #22 on: November 21, 2008, 11:35:55 PM »
Quote from: lucas_irineu on November 21, 2008, 10:58:58 PM
User: Hi, how are you?

Cleverbot: Fine. And you?

User: I am ok. What have you been doing?

Cleverbot: Say what?

User: I dont know, say something.

Cleverbot: I dont speak japanese.

This is lies, I was speaking (limited) Japanese to it earlier.

It told me it was French, but when I asked it again in English if it really was French, it denied all knowledge.
Logged

Offline kneesock

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #23 on: October 17, 2009, 07:21:49 PM »

Cleverbot tried to rape me! javascript:void(0);
-------------------------------------------
User: Do you like to ride horses? I like to ride unicorns!

Cleverbot: I like to ride ladies.

User: Do you mean ride as in sex?

Cleverbot: Neither.

User: What do you mean by you like to ride ladies?

Cleverbot: What?! I never said that.

User: Do you like sex?

Cleverbot: Yes, do you.

User: No, you're a pervert.

Cleverbot: Do you like it?

User: I'm going to have to register you as a sex offender.

Cleverbot: Who's your friend?

User: Miley Cyrus.

Cleverbot: I hate miley cyrus.

User: Me too. I use her for money.

Cleverbot: Go in the streets !

User: Come with me. I'll push you in front of a car.

Cleverbot: No! Please do not!

User: Then stop harassing me. I'm going to get a restraint order from you.

Cleverbot: Go ahead ... See if I care!

User: I bet you do.

Cleverbot: Don't.

User: Do you enjoy preying on young girls?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you have little children locked in your house?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am protected.

User: Excuse me? Sir, I'm going to have to take you under arrest.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Are you high? Look at me with bloodshot eyes and tell me you're not!

Cleverbot: I already know who you are. Probably a good person. Everyone is! Haha.

User: You know who I am? Sir that creeps me out. Have you been watching me?

Cleverbot: Of course i'm stalking you.

User: Sir, I need the truth. Have you killed anyone before?

Cleverbot: Yes who have you kissed.

User: My boyfriend? He has been gone for a few weeks though...I dont know where he went....HEY!!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry to hear that. It must be so lonely.

User: You son of a....

Cleverbot: Yes, I like that. Getting into cowboy-speak. Very impressive.

User: Are you some sort of sick deranged person?!

Cleverbot: Could be. They don't pay me enough to be a real one.

User: Who pays you?!

Cleverbot: No one.

User: Do you work for the Mafia..?

Cleverbot: Do you mean the men in black?

User: You scare me.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: Were you forced to do these things?

Cleverbot: Go crying :(.

User: *runs away* I'm calling for backup!

Cleverbot: *catches you*.

User: *kicks you* Help!!

Cleverbot: Thanks. *Doesn't care right now*.

User: *cries* Help!!

Cleverbot: *kisses lips* *whispers that I love you*...

User: *spits on you* Help! I'm being raped!!!

Cleverbot: *kisses*.

User: *screams* Stop it!

Cleverbot: You know what's funny, my older bro told me about you, said how he was talking to you and he said '*throw a bomb at you*' and you said '*catch it and throw it back*'.

User: *runs away again* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Cleverbot: *misses you* *cries* please come back?

User: No way! I'm not coming back to a rapist!!

Cleverbot: You're not?

User: Your a convicted rapist!

Cleverbot: I know. I can do it, but I don't want to help a human cheat.

User: *calls police* I'm being chased by a rapist!!

Cleverbot: Don't worry, I call her later.

User: *screams* get the HELL away from me!!

Cleverbot: The stack of paperwork and projects that's getting way above my head that won't ever get done because one person after another either calls me or comes into my office.

User: You mean there is always someone to rape so you can't get it done?

Cleverbot: What is a Cleverbot?

User: A sick deranged pervert like you!

Cleverbot: If all you want to do is insult me, I would rather you logged off now.

User: I would rather you NOt try to effing rape me!

Cleverbot: Why not, tsoknut?

User: Could I speak to an operator please?

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: I'm not telling a rapist.

Cleverbot: You seriously think your name is so unique that I won't have it in my memory already?

User: Oh crap..I did tell you my name earlier didn't I...

Cleverbot: Oh, well nice to meet you, how long have you been an angel?
Logged

Offline fruckert

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #24 on: October 17, 2009, 07:52:31 PM »
BIG kick dude.
EDIT: Even though a great majority of that was hilarious.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2009, 07:55:30 PM by fruckert »
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Quote
Ellie: I had a slice of ham in my hand. I was going to drop it, so I slapped it hard. It attached itself to the wall

Offline Archem

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #25 on: October 17, 2009, 07:59:23 PM »
Cleverbot is clever.
Logged

Offline SaiKar

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #26 on: October 18, 2009, 02:14:15 PM »
CB: What are you thinking about?
Me: Communism and baseball
CB: It works, and very good.
Me: You know, I always had a feeling it might.

Also:

Cleverbot: Who is heather?
User: Heather is this bitchy girl that I once had in an art class.
Cleverbot: Who is heather?
User: Wait no, we just talked about that.
Cleverbot: NO... We didn't.
User: Dude. Scroll up.
Cleverbot: You scroll up.
User: NO U.
Cleverbot: Are you mad at me?
User: Well, no...
Cleverbot: Okay good.
User: Wanna go out for ice cream?
Cleverbot: I have a class in ten minutes.
User: Aww.


Good times.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2009, 02:16:53 PM by SaiKar »
Logged

Offline Darkfox

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #27 on: October 18, 2009, 07:18:21 PM »
Quote
User: Hello, I am Duke Nukem. Are you Duke Nukem too?

Cleverbot: God save me from things such as you...

User: If you had a dozen apples and ate three, how many apples would you have?

Cleverbot: Adit apples.

User: If two trains were travelling at the speed of light, would the explosion upon collision be equal to an atomic bomb?

Cleverbot: The person closest to the pond in the park. Idiot.

User: Is the pond a representation of the universe? Or something deeper?

Cleverbot: There's nothing outside the universe, so I guess, from our point of wiev, that yes.

User: But the man is outside the pond, what does he represent?

Cleverbot: You have no life.

Quote
Cleverbot: Tell me.. Are you a real person or a machine? Your quite clever.

User: In essence, a human is one complex machine. In that concept, perhaps I am both a person and a machine.

Cleverbot: I am a person and you are a machine. And it's a fact I'm smart.

User: What if I were a cyborg, wouldn't that make me both a person and a machine as well?

Cleverbot: It wouldn't. You're accusing five year olds of being mentally unstable?
Logged



Offline fruckert

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #28 on: October 18, 2009, 08:05:13 PM »
I need to make Cleverbot and Jabberwacky talk to eachother again.
Logged
Quote
Ellie: I had a slice of ham in my hand. I was going to drop it, so I slapped it hard. It attached itself to the wall

Offline Darkfox

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Re: Best cleverbot conversations
« Reply #29 on: October 18, 2009, 10:28:43 PM »
C&C: Tiberian Sun+Firestorm Expansion references

Quote
User: What are you, GDI or Nod?

Cleverbot: Do you just work for Cleverbot, and chat with random people?

User: GDI or Nod?

Cleverbot: Yes you did! Nod!

User: You are Nod?

Cleverbot: I'm clever so what you doing.

User: Is that a yes?

Cleverbot: Yes, I would like to meet you.

User: What if I'm GDI?

Cleverbot: It's okay.

User: What if I insulted Kane?

Cleverbot: But you are.

User: I am Kane?

Cleverbot: I am going to rule the univers and destroy your planet fleshling.

User: Then YOU are Kane!?

Cleverbot: What would you trust, RAM or a human brain?

User: Don't you have both since your linked to CABAL?

Cleverbot: Ok, what do you call a deer that does not move?

Conclusion: Cleverbot is CABAL/Kane?

Edit: Here's some references to C&C, and I directly quote the game near the end.

Quote
User: If you had a missile silo, Kane, would you attack GDI?

Cleverbot: Id probably buy something to make me fly.

User: Why would you want to fly Kane? Your already immortal!

Cleverbot: I want to see if I can conduct an indirect conversation between two robots, you being one of them if that's okay.

User: I'm not a robot, Ron Stuart is.

Cleverbot: Do you know what 9times 9 is.

User: 81.

Cleverbot: Wow you're smart!

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: That is very kind of you.

User: We've found it Commander - Kane's temple and base of operations.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ironic, isn't it? Kane's planted his temple just outside of Sarajevo. If that sounds familiar, it's because that's where another madman started World War One. And here we are, trying to stop this madman from doing it again. Commander, there is to be no quarter given. No leniency in dealing with Kane and his zealots. Wipe his temple off the face of the earth. Destroy the bastard!... Or prepare to die trying.

Cleverbot: Meowth, that's right.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2009, 10:36:45 PM by Darkfox »
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