TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!

[Archem]

You use the KEY to UNLOCK the WINDOW.

[Archem]

You peer out your WINDOW, as if you expect some kind of outlandish obstacle to be waiting for you. You are mistaken. There is simply the brick wall that makes up the building next to you, and the ALLEY below.

[fruckert]

> Throw SPOILED MILK outside of WINDOW
> Make ROPE out of BEDSHEET

[Archem]

You commit the heinous crime of LITTER BUGGERY, and quickly realize that you're already tied your SHEETS to your BED.

[WarxePB]

> Give LANDLORD a CHEAP BEER

[Archem]

You grab hold of a couple of CHEAP BEERS, but your special ability, EXTREME CLUMSINESS, causes you to drop them on your way to the DOOR. GLASS SHARDS and booze litter the ground. Surely, this won't be fun to clean up.

[fruckert]

> Try to unlock LOCKBOX with KEYS

[Archem]

You're sure one of these KEYS on your KEYRING will UNLOCK your LOCKBOX, so you start flipping through them and trying to UNLOCK it. Eventually, the LOCKBOX opens, and you are greeted by a healthy amount of neatly-sorted PAPERS containing an identity thief's bounty in personal information. Better not let this out of your sight. You also spy an ENVELOPE, a GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH, and a REVOLVER. If you had any AMMUNITION, the REVOLVER would surely be a dangerous tool.

[WarxePB]

> Open ENVELOPE

[Archem]

You open the ENVELOPE and find what appears to be an OLD MAP. You aren't sure of how it got in your LOCKBOX, nor do you know what it could be for. You should probably TAKE a few of these strange and mysterious items from your LOCKBOX.

[fruckert]

> Empty contents of LOCKBOX to your inventory.
> Do something silly.

[Archem]

You dump all the contents of your LOCKBOX into your... PANTS? You're not sure if you should put them on beforehand, but they now have the POCKETS stuffed with all your junk.

ITEMS ACQUIRED:

ONE (1) REVOLVER
ONE (1) GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH
ONE (1) OLD MAP

It seems that all your PERSONAL INFORMATION just fell on the floor. You don't seem to have enough room in your POCKETS for something you probably shouldn't be carrying around anyway. You also figure that putting your PANTS on might be something you can do without being told, so you go for it. As you hop about on one foot, trying your damnedest to get your other leg in, your EXTREME CLUMSINESS kicks in, causing you to slip on the CHEAP BEER puddle, slide into your TV, and fall face first into the BROKEN GLASS. Whether it came from the TV or the CHEAP BEER BOTTLES doesn't seem to matter, since both you and your PERSONAL INFORMATION are now soaked in CHEAP BEER, cut up from all the BROKEN GLASS, and you still can't seem to get your PANTS on. Some might consider this series of events to be rather silly. You just feel EXASPERATED.

[fruckert]

> Take WATCH out of POCKET and WEAR IT
> Quick, save the PERSONAL INFORMATION! Pick it up and set it on the counter, or something.

[Archem]

You briefly contemplate AN HEROING, but the BROKEN GLASS is so small that you wouldn't be able to do much. Perhaps you could SWALLOW large handfuls of the stuff? Doesn't matter, the notion is ridiculous. You stand up, brush the BROKEN GLASS off of you, and slip on your trusty GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH. That PERSONAL INFORMATION of yours sure is soggy by now. You don't see the point in trying to save it anymore, since it's beginning to dissolve, but you scoop it all up, anyway. You set it on the counter, or something.

[WarxePB]

> Look at OLD MAP