Charas Pub

[WarxePB]

Warxe: And I'm Canadian, but no one's made me talk like a Canuck. Weird.
Alien: SHUT UP AND DIGEST.
All: Eew.

[Meiscool-2]

Just then, something happened. The alien got so hunrgy that it ate it's own head.

Razor: Wait a second, that's impossible, something can't eat it's own head!
MIC: To the transitive property, it can.

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: Of course, because I go around saying old chap all the time! I say, that's a dreadfully outdated view don't you think?

[Archem]

50 Archem: Yo, dawg, that busta' jes' sed "Canuck"! What be his pra'lem? G.
DarkFlood: I don't know what the hell he just said.
MIC: I understood one word: G.
Warxe: That's how you know it's fair!
Alien: My head tastes great! But it needs a little salt...
50 Archem: Fo' shizzle... uh... G.
Razor: Yup... It's definitely still Archem in that big, black, muscular, sweaty, manly, beautiful body... Se-
CK: By god's name, if you say "sexy", I'll stab you in the eye!
Razor: ... SEnt into eXile, Yo.
CK: WAKKACHAKKACHAKKA!!!
Razor: Ow! My eye!
Alien: AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! SALT IN OPEN WOUND HURTS!!!

[WarxePB]

Warxe: *kicks topic*

[Drace]

Drace: *kicks Warxe's face*
Warxe: That was expected. *-_-*
Drace: Expected, you say?
Warxe: Yes.
Drace: Then why is my foot in your face?
MIC: ZOMG PWNED!!!!!!!!!!!

[WarxePB]

Warxe: Because I can do this! *summons Chuck Norris*
Chuck Norris: *kicks Drace*
Drace: *explodes*
Chuck Norris: Have I FINALLY repayed you?
Warxe: Mmmm... not quite. You still need to do my laundry for about 2 billion years.
Chuck Norris: D: *disappears*
Razor: How does that work?
Warxe: Well...

*2 hours later*

Warxe: ...and then I saved him from those tomatoes.
Razor: What tomatoes?
Warxe: The ones I was just explaining.
MIC: You didn't explain anything. You said "Well, 2 hours later and then I saved him from those tomatoes."
Warxe: I did explain everything! You just skipped over the cutscene with the Start button!
MIC: *pressing Start button* ...what? Cutscenes are boring.

[coasterkrazy]

CK: I watched it. And Warxe I gotta tell ya that was the most touching, inspiring story I've heard in years. You've inspired me.
Warxe: To do what?
CK: To go make Chuck Norris my best friend, duh!
Warxe: You can't, he's already my slave.
CK: But he can be mine too!
Warxe: No he can't.
CK: Yes he can.

*2 hours later*

Warxe: And that's why mountains have tops. Therefore, Chuck Norris can't be a slave to both of us at the same time.
CK: What are you talking about?
Warxe:  
MIC: See, he skips cutscenes too.
Razor: Well I watched that time, and I gotta say that I think...

[MrMister]

MM: *walks in* A Pilsner and a recent internet joke please.
Bartender: O RLY
MM: *pulls out handgun*

[Archem]

MM shoots CK's 12 oz. bottle of Pepsi™ brand cola.
CK: My soda! Why?! Whyyyyyyy?!
MM: Because, she used to be my lover...
*Flashback, in grainy, brownish-tinted black-and-white film with a slow alto sax playing*
MM: I love you, babe, but that doesn't mean I won't follow through on my contract.
Pepsi™ brand cola: Fzzzz.
MM: No, I can't. I wish it were that easy, but it isn't.
Pepsi™ brand cola: Pss!
MM: We never could, fate was against us in this spin of the wheel. I played the game of craps we know as life, and I just rolled a pair of snake-eyes.
Pepsi™ brand cola: *Pouring sound*.
MM: Don't cry, you knew it from the moment we met. I suggest that you skip town, take the next train to Nice, and look into a new life. It would be a real shame if the tables turned, and we were dealt a bad hand.
Pepsi™ brand cola: ...
MM: I'll never forget you, but I can't overlook what you've done to me. Let's part ways now, and live life the way we were meant to.
*Flash forward*.
CK: That didn't explain a thing!
MIC: No, but it sure was tasty!
Razor: Or tasteless. And cheap. Not the best movie plot out there.
Archem is sipping up the remaining Pepsi™ brand cola from the floor. Good to the last drop.
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Holy crap. This would be great for their new advertising campaign.

[Razor]

That post royally owned. I mean, it's way up there on the ladder of ownage.
-----------------------------------------------------
Razor: "Of course, This is the Charas Pub. There's no bias towards one drink or another," Razor said as he poured his Coca Cola into his limited edition Coca Cola glass, which he removed from his Coca Cola minibar fridge. COCA COLA FLASHES WITHIN 1/10000th of a second.
CoasterKrazee: Hey, someone misspelt my name.

[MrMister]

Of course real men drink Coke..
--------------------------------------
MM: *sips Pilsner in amazingly cool bad *** cowboy pose* *looks over at a portrait of Red Giant* ...we hardly knew ye. *wipes tear away from eye*

[Drace]

Dr. Pepper, solves all your problems.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Warxe: *summons Chuck Norris* Give Drace another roundkick in the face.
Chuck: Yesssh, massshter.
Drace: Freeze! *holds up a bottle of Dr. Pepper* *squizes the bottles and the liquid shoots out and lands right in his mouth as the Popeye theme plays* *arms and muscles grow bigger and when he flexes, you can see a steam boat in it*
Chuck: Oh noes!!! It'z zie Peppereye!

Drace: *wakes up* Ah, ah, ahhhhhhhhhhh DAMN IT!

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: YES, YES, OH YESSS! *Wakes up* Ah, DAMN IT!

All: 0_o

[X_marks_the_ed]

*Punches MT11 in the face.*
Ed: "I thought I told you! There is no such thing as a female moose!"

*Flies into outer space*

All: