Charas Pub

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: *Dodges Supernova coming out of phone* Okay Drace. But I still think I should round up Sephiroth and Ultimecia. I'll take Psychosis and you with me, Drace...

[[Psychosis and Drace joined the party!]]

*Cheesy heroic music plays*

Dragonium: Let's go!

Psychosis: Actually, Dragonium --

Drace: -- We really don't want --

Psychosis: -- To go with you on this --

Drace: -- Quest type thing, because --

Psychosis: -- We think you're an idiot.

Dragonium: Okay...

[[Psychosis and Drace left the party!]]

*Cheesy sad music plays*

Drace: Stop doing that! *Slap*

Dragonium: Damn.

[Drace]

Dragonium: Wait a sec, you weren't a slapper, you where a puncher.
Drace: Oh yeah. *punches Dragonium*

[Grandy]

 Grandy: So Sephiroth is back... Why are you all afraid, we have Phoenix Down, Drace Phoenix Down, and we could find some Warxe Phoenixblade Down
 Drace: OR we could just use Grandy as human shield while we run away
 Grandy: Yeah... that could be Plan C
 Drace: Whats the Plan B?
 Grandy: Its the plan that don't exist so we can't just go to plan C, because before C comes B.
 Dragonium: Damn
 Grandy: What?
 Dragonium: Oh, nothing, I just like to say that.

[Darkfox]

Psychosis: *still holding phone* Hellllooooo?

[Grandy]

 Phone:¡Hola! ¿Hablas español?
 Psychosis: Uh... no?
 Phone: Its alright, I dont know either!!!111!!11 hehehhe lol *click*
 Psychosis: ......what the crap was that?

[MSlash67]

Random Guy: I dunno

[Darkfox]

Psychosis: *dials up Sephiroth with an impossibly long number*

Sephiroth: HELLO!? IF THIS IS THAT IDIO...

Psychosis: Hello Sepppphhhhyyy!

Sephiroth: Who are you and how did you get this...

Psychosis: Well... I was just wondering if you wanted a Nutty Buddy or a Snickers bar maybe...? What do ya say?

[Moosetroop11]

*MT11 starts crying*
Drace: What now?
MT11: Ultimecia's back... It brings back harsh memories...
*Flashback*
 Barney: Hyuckhyuckhyuck! I'll kill you all!
Ultimecia: NEXT!
Xen: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! DId I get the part?
Ultimecia: Absolutely
Xen: Yesssssss!
Ultimecia: Not.
Xen: Noooooooo...
Ultimecia: NEXT!
MT11: I will kill you all! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ultimecia: Hmm.... I'll put you in the maybe pile...
Ultimecia: NEXT!
Griever: RAAAAAAAAAAAARGHR BLARGHGRARARARARARARA *Kills Barney*
Ultimecia: Perfect! You're my new evil monster!
MT11: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Flashback ends*
Drace: So let me get this straight... You auditioned for the job of 'Ultimecia's evil monster'?
MT11: Yes.
Drace: And Xen did too?
Xen: I don't remember... Must be all these GFs I'm using. What did I just say?

[Dragonium]

*Army briefing sort of drum music plays*

Dragonium: Alright soldiers! We have to retrieve Sephiroth and Ultimecia! Now, here's the plan! *Pulls a chalkboard out of Drace's mouth*

Drace: Wh... How did you --

Dragonium: Quiet soldier! Now then, Sephiroth and Ultimecia are currently located on this island! *Draws a squiggle* We have the means of transportation to get there! *Pulls out Dr. Red's brain surgery machine with a steering wheel stuck on it*

Drace: We're going on that?!

Dragonium: I said quiet! Now, we need a few backup plans to aid the mindless violence, so what are we gonna do? Raise your hands!

*No-one raises hands*

Dragonium: Okay. Let's try a different approach. You carry on the sentence. Should Sephiroth use Supernova...

Psychosis: ... We all equip our weapons and...

Drace: ... Play the piano!

Dragonium: Drace! Stop spoiling the game! Should Griever arrive on the scene...

Psychosis: ... We get some bait with which to distract him... *Prods Drace, wink wink*

Drace: ... And do the hokey-pokey!

Dragonium: Drace! Stop that!

Drace: Well, sorry, but this won't work. There's a reason thse guys are the ultimate bosses in FF7 and 8.

Dragonium: :S

Psychosis: O_o

Drace:

Dragonium: Damn.

[Drace]

Drace: Well, I'm going to sleep now. Razor! Where's a custumor bed?
Razor: In the back, never thought we would actu......
DRACE!!!! Wake up you idiot!

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: Hmm. Odd.

*Dragonium walks in*

Dragonium: What the hell?

Dragonium: Who are you?

Dragonium: I'm... Well... You...

Razor: Oh nuts. Now how do we know which one's the real one?

Psychosis: Only one way to find out, I guess.

*Gets phone, dials number*

Psychosis: Hey there Seph! Need a little help!

Seph: Why, you, I'll... Oh, it's you Psychosis. Coming.

*Poof of smoke, Sephiroth appears*

Seph: What's up?

Psychosis: Oh, nothing. It was just a trick to take away your freedom and get you back here!

Seph: Damn.

Left Dragonium: That's my line!

Razor: Hee hee hee! *Shoots right one with shotgun*

*Seph disappears*

Dragonium: Thanks for that Razor. Now, the small matter of Sephiroth and Ultimecia...

Psychosis: We had Seph right here, but now he's gone.

Dragonium: Damn.

[Drace]

Drace: Ummmm.... The right one was the real one.
Ah well, sleeping time again.
Razor: Oh no! Your not going to sle... KADAMN YOU!!! WAKE UP MORON!!!
Drace: ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: *Respawns on Sephiroth's island* Wow, that was lucky!

Seph: Damn. You can't just leave me alone, can you? Ha! I challenge you to a questionable casters' fight!

Dragonium: Fine!

*FF7 Boss music plays*

Seph: Luminous Field of Ranting!

Dragonium: Salad Dressing Armor!

Seph: Toejam Blast!

Dragonium: Steak Sauce Vortex!

Seph: Unbelievable Blob of Dandruff!

Dragonium: Holy Sphere of Caffeine!

Seph: Bacon Erruption!

Dragonium: Summon Cola Elemental!

Seph: Aaaaaaaaaaagh!!! *Crash*

*Final Fantasy victory tune plays*

Dragonium: And that's the end of that chapter...

Mog: *Appears from out of nowhere* Dragonium! You're forgetting the rules! You have to say "Damn" at the end of each post, otherwise the readers will lose interest!

Dragonium: *Turns towards camera* Sigh...

Mog: Say it, or we'll revoke your license!

Dragonium: Damn.

[Moosetroop11]

Razor: If you're sleeping, you're not drinking! Wake up, dammit!
Drace: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
Razor: MT, I need your antlers for a bit.
MT11: Huh?
Razor: That's right. Line up there, now CHAAAAAAAAAAARGE!
Drace: *Emits the sort of scream one can only scream when rammed up the backside by a pair of moose antlers*
Razor: Thankyou.
Drace: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!
Razor: Here, have a drink to soothe the pain, only double price.
MT11: *Faints*
Psychosis: When's the last time Drace had a shower?

[Drace]

Drace: When was the last time anyone had a shower.
Psychosis: O_O Ewwwwwwww.