Charas Pub

[Grandy]

 Tina: *hits DF in the head*

[Big_Duke]

Duke:AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!*Destroys pub,using a banana*

[Grandy]

 Grandy: He destroyed a pub.... with a banana?
 Razor: *whistles* Xen, start to rebuild NOW!

[Razor]

Xen: *grumbles* I always have to rebuild the stupid pub because of stupid Razor and his stupid influence...
Razor: Shut up. Though I must admit, destroying the pub with a banana is pretty good.
Duke: Really?
Razor: Or maybe it's because Xen didn't fix it good enough last time!!! Xen! I want this to be like a bomb shelter! Invincible! And make it withstand nuclear blasts, I've got a war tomorrow!
Xen: ...

[Grandy]

 Grandy: A war? Against who?
 Razor: I'll kill all the curious people.
 Grandy: Okay, I'll shut up now

[Razor]

*bullets fly through the front door, people duck*
voice: awhawhaww, I will not mees next time, you filthy american peeg!
Razor: *pulls pin and throws grenade outside* I'm not American, and I'm not a pig!
Grandy: What about filt-
Red: He knows what he said...

[Xen]

Xen: *enters the pub, exhausted*
Razor: Well Xen? Did you meet my requirements?
Xen: Requirements? You didn't say that your requirements were coming to meet me!
Razor: ...
Xen: Oh wait! Maybe you're talking about that guy who pulled up in an army vehicle?
Razor: !?
Xen: I remember it like it happened at some time in my life before...which it did.

*Flashback*

*outside the Charas Pub*

Guy in army vehicle: Is this the Charas Pub?
Xen: Yes.
Guy in army vehicle: Oh good. *drives away*

*End of Flashback*

Xen: I could'nt make out what the symbol was on the side of the vehicle though...Oh wait! It's that one on the sides of the things that make really big explosions and kill everybody!!
Razor: *pauses, and get's worried looks* Xen? You did make this pub Nuke Proof, like I said...right?
Xen: What? Oh that. It's on my to do list. It's at the bottom. actually.
Razor: DO IT NOW!!!
Xen: Later. *leaves*

Xen: *from outside* WOW!! It's raining Nukes!!!

*Everyone gasps*

Xen: *from outside* Oh wait. No they're not.

*Everyone lets out a sigh of relief*

Xen: *from outside* Nope. They're nukes.

*Everyone gasps*

Xen: I wonder if they'll hit the pub. Even if they did, the pub wouldn't be affected. I mean, I built that nuclear protection...*pauses* Oh wait. That's on my to do list. Ah, everyone will be fine. They have the duck and cover method. It's saved my life tons of times. Oh wait. My scales are resistant to nukes, only anti-dragon nukes hurt me. Damn. Somone may have heard that. I better scram!!! Stupid Eavesdroppers... *flies away*

Razor: We are so screwed

[Darkfox]

Darkfox: *Talking to military type person* So thats why your here huh? Well Xen went that way... and use this *gives them a giant flyswatter* it's a dragonswatter, specifically for nuke-proof scaled dragons.

Military dude: It ist good to haf comrades! *leaves*

Razor: What was that all about?

Darkfox: He broke their pub and refused to rebuild it and said it was on his to-do list but he never done it.

Razor: Hmmmm... that sounds oddly familiar... can't quite put my claws on it...

Darkfox: -_-'

Razor: I know, we need a military! And some funny talking guy that says stuff like "TO ARMS!"

Darkfox: Your missing the point entirely...

Razor: Huh-wha...?

Darkfox: Nevermind...

[Moosetroop11]

*A week later*

Razor: To arms!
*Drunkards stagger to their feet and get out their water pistols, drace drops to the floor unconsious*
DF: This is your military?
Razor: Jealous? I spent a week training them.
DF:
Razor: Yooou're jealous.

[Dragonium]

*Paratroopers start falling from the sky*

*The Landing from FF8 starts playing for no reason*

Dragonium: Oh, holy cow...

Duke: My banana shall save us all! *Points banana at sky*

*Gets shot at*

Duke: Fwaagh. *Dives back inside*

*Enemy leader comes inside*

Leader-type guy: Ve haf captured ze one you call, "Xen".

Dragonium: *Gasp*

Duke: *Gasp*

DF and Razor: Woohoo!

*Soldiers swarm the pub*

Leader: As such, ve are not wanting to waste time, yes? So ve are going to destroy you all. Before we do, I vant you to have this. *Hands a piece of paper to Razor*

Razor: Xen's To Do List. "Nuke-Proof Pub". "Do week's shopping". "Steal DF's Wallet". "Disable the anvil trap".

Leader: Anvil trap?

*Thunk*

Razor: *Looks at squished leader* O_o

Dragonium: *Puts Dragostea Din Tei on for no reason*

[Big_Duke]

Razor:Duke has died of gasping!

Dragonium:How?

Razor:Well,too much air got sucked into his lungs,therefor exploding his lungs.

Dragonium:Sorry I asked.

*Duke is in heaven*

Duke:K. Ballard?

Ballard:Yeah,that's me.

Duke:Hitler?!

Hitler:SSHHHHHHHHH!I'm not supposed to be up here!

Duke:AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!HITLER!

Hitler:Crap!

*back at the pub*

Razor:Where are you?

[Weregnome]

WG walks in. Drinkis a drink. Then leaves.

[Grandy]

 Grandy: He didnt paid

[Darkfox]

Razor: He's a special customer.

Darkfox: ... ... ... get out of my look!

Razor: O_o

[Drace]

Drace: *Walks in a random door in the pub* Argh! This thing sucks!
Razor: What sucks?
Drace: This damn bloodsucker here, he's sucking my neck.
Grandy: You need to burn it off.
Drace: I don't think that's gonna work.
Grandy: It will, just grab a lighter or a sigaret.
Drace: Ok if you say so. *grabs sigaret and puts it out on the bloodsucker*
*White comes running out of the door*
White: OW! That hurts! *runs out of the pub*
Drace: *Steps out of the door*  You were right Grandy, it worked. *Raises hand with dead bloodsucker in it*