Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Darrellito]

Granted, but the next day you have an accident with your hands and can never use them again.

I wish I could dance with no pants.

[Rahl]

Granted but a random rabid dog comes by and knaws off your vagina

I wish dance with pants.

[Darrellito]

Granted, but everyone laughs at you and exile you from the rest of civilization.

I wish I could have my own planet copy of earth. Without and people, just animals and plants. But I would also take something with me to defend myself.

[Red Giant]

Granted, but you foolishly take a gnarled stick as your defense; it works well against the badgers, but not so much against the lions.

I wish I had a better computer.

[WarxePB]

Granted. Your new computer is made of nanobots, but one malfunctions and converts all of the oxygen in the atmosphere into nanobots, thus killing everything. Good job.

I wish that bots would stop posting bot threads.

[Red Giant]

Granted. Charas goes down forever. No more bot threads.

I wish my comics would make themselves.

[Rahl]

Granted but they suck at it.

I wish I could make comics...

[Darrellito]

Granted, but they go so underground, that only your mom knows about them. And she doesn't even like them.

I wish Xbox Live had more free downloads, without messing up the balance of free/pay

[Rahl]

Granted, just granted.

I wish I had waited and gotten the premium xbox...

[WarxePB]

Granted, but you foolishly trap yourself in another dimension while fighting your greatest enemies.

I wish for a gigantic loaf of bread.

[Rahl]

Granted it lands on you and you are forever stuck under it.

I wish for a new car.

[Strawberry]

Granted, but it is in the bottom of the ocean!

I wish I had friends ;_;

[arcaine91]

Granted. You've befriended a cannibalistic cult, who have choisen you to be the sacrifice. It's a big honor!

I wish I knew what to wish for.

[X_marks_the_ed]

A volcano.

I wish I could find the Alsh Talisman.

[Rahl]

Granted but it gets shoved up your arse.

I wish we could all just get along.