Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[WarxePB]

Granted, but while you sleep, some people sneak into your house and kill you for the cure.

I wish for thirty pairs of shoes.

[Dominicy]

Granted.  You now have thirty pears of shoes

I wish I was HARDENED WITH FIRE.

[mironic]

Granted, but you can no longer move

i wish... WISH... FOR AN.... pIne.......ap...ba............................................ uhhhhhhhhh... PINECONE PIE

[fruckert]

Granted. You eat it, then it hurts like **** to **** out later

I wish that I WAS A TITAN!

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Granted. You grow at an alarming rate, until eventually you are so massive, the sun's gravity pulls you in, and you are incinerated.
As a result, the rest of our solar system goes with you.
Good job.

I wish that I could shoot silly string from my finger tips.

[Dominicy]

Granted.  these silly strings happen to be a collaboration of your veins and arteries.

I wish to be loved.

[fruckert]

Granted, Fruitart my gay raping cousin now loves you
OLD REFERENCE ALERT!

I wish that I was a kazoo

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Granted. But only large hairy men ever blow you.

I wish I could materialize spheres of flaming plasma from the palms of my hands, and then fire them at my enemies.

[WarxePB]

Granted, but you incinerate your hands while conjuring them.

I wish that I could stop the rock

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Granted. You can the stop the rock.
But YOU CAN'T KILL THE METAL!

I wish my eyes could fire high-powered laser beams.

[WarxePB]

Granted, but you accidentally look into a mirror while firin your eye lazors, thus making a large hole in your head.

I wish I could both stop the rock and kill the metal.

[SaiKar]

Granted. A rock tumbling down a hill that would have pushed a stalled car full of tourists out of the way of an out-of-control truck stops where it is and a friendly benevolent metal robot that was working on cancer research is slain before the last few calculations to perfect a cure.

I wish I wasn't an insomniac.

[fruckert]

Granted. You are a sexsomniac now, and have sex with your creepy neighbor who likes cats a little to much

I wish that didn't pop into my head

[Darrellito]

Granted, instead, a knife does.

I wish I had the curse of the black pearl.

[Dominicy]

Granted, you get stuck as a recurring character in an entirely crappy movie series.  I think.

That is what the curse of the Black Pearl is from, aye?