Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[fruckert]

Granted, but you have a Kryptonite implant

I wish I could be Batman

[Darrellito]

Granted, but your caught by a stray bullet.

I wish I could be a Green Lantern.

[Darkfox]

Granted, but Sinestro mugs you.

I wish I was Deadpool

[FFL2and3rocks]

Granted, but the fourth wall falls over and crushes you.

I wish I was Freakazoid.

[Darkfox]

Granted, but you have to listen to Gutierrez's jokes all day yelling LAUGH WITH ME!

I wish I was Bruce Campbell

[Darrellito]

Granted, but after your glorious run in films, your cursed to acting in bit roles in USA network television shows.

I wish I could be The Specter.

[X_marks_the_ed]

Granted. You become a white ape with a very sharp hat.

I wish likes to dance the tango.

[fruckert]

Granted, but um...you don't like it, and are forced to do it forevermore

I wish that tonight wasn't such a midnight dreary

[DedlellyDeth]

Granted. It is now HEVAY METAAAAAL!!!

I wish I could inject myself with knowledge juice and learn anything without reading or hearing it.

[Darrellito]

Granted, but after an all night binge, your head explodes from too much knowledge.

I wish I could legally have 20lbs of Marijuana.

[Rahl]

Granted, it is now legal for you to have marijuana, but it is still illegal to smoke it and punishable by death.

I wish for corruption.

[fruckert]

Granted. Your entire hard drive corrupts, and any hard drive after that corrupts, making it so you can't go outside
Also, your penis falls off from bacteria corruption

I wish for a pair of pants

[Fisherson]

Granted, but they're wrong size for you and you gain a woman's figure with no TG process occurring. You just have the physical body of a woman.

I wish that I could TF people at will.

[Darkfox]

Granted but you get mirror'd and become a bug.

I wish for a wishy wish.. wish

[Darrellito]

Granted. Now what?

I wish I was queer, so I could get chicks.