Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Darrellito]

Granted. You hold you schedule in front of my and I cut it with my +18 Katana of badassedry, but I accidentally cut you in half with it.

Sorry.

I wish I had about three fitty.

[zuhane]

Granted, but then a wolf attacks you and rips all of your limbs off and leaves you for dead, rendering you completely
helpless.

I wish someone would reply to this post and then grant me some form of bad luck. (Did I just create a paradox?)

[Bluhman]

Granted.

I wish someone would draw fanart of one of my characters.

[PROGUY]

Granted, but you owe him $10,000,000 for creating a masterpiece.

I wish I could dodge crap like this girl.

[drenrin2120]

What? Wish corrupted by not being granted.

I wish I could fly.

[MissingName]

Granted.  You fly too high and die of frost and lack of oxygen.

I wish I could get out of this damn hospital waiting room.

[Dragonium]

Granted. You are now in the hospital's no-waiting room. You must be moving around and doing things at all times. Failure to be doing something at any moment will result in the insertion of scalpels into your urethra by hospital staff.

I wish making websites was easier, so that my web design assignment would be done faster.

[PROGUY]

Granted, but that would make your website horrible due to limited resources.

I wish I know why people are always into "serious" games.

[Hirochi-Zangus]

Granted, you now can ONLY play serious games and all cool and fun games feel dull and lifeless.

I wish I could do backflips off my dog.

[fruckert]

Granted, you're now expelled.

I wish my life wasn't so bloody boring.

[A Forgotten Legend]

Granted.  Now you're covered in blood and your life is exciting!  Just be sure to hide the body before the co-- oh.  Nevermind.  Have fun in jail!  I know your cell buddy will.

I wish, I wish, I wish for some sort of wish.

[Hirochi-Zangus]

Granted. Time paradox.

I wish that the Megaman series came out with something new.

[fruckert]

Granted, Megaman is now a 6' frog with attitude. He roams the countryside searching for the car that ran over his wife, the Wilesmobile.

I wish that it was November.

[Natako]

Granted. Harold Camping's prediction came true in October and you're now suffering among us non-raptured folk.

I wish that I had a better job.

[A Forgotten Legend]

Granted.  You are know working the most profitable corner in the world.  Congrats on getting herpies!

I wish that after 9 applications someone would hire me.