Charas Pub

[Archem]

Archem: Well, it would seem that, if you take this sand, and take a leak on it, it becomes wet sand! We can use this to keep our pants wet and sandy while we work!
Razor: ... Don't you have cancer or something?
MIC: Well, what if we melted down the sand so that it makes a glass-like piece of glass?
Warxe: That's a no-go. I specifically recall a "no summoning" rule. I mean, how can you melt down sand without summoning a meteor or Efreet or Ifrit or whatever his name is? I mean, it's just not possible!
Drace: *smokes something questionable*
Tomi: *farts*
Explosion: *explodes*
Sand: *melts*
Glass: *is*
Warxe: ... I declare h4x. It has to be, you know.

[Moosetroop11]

*Inside MT11*

Grandy: Come on slot machine, I'm feeling lucky this time!!!

YEAH!||YEAH!||GOOD!
YEAH!|YEAH!|YEAH!
YEAH!||MISS!||GOOD!

*Tifa pops up and hits grandy's face*

Grandy: Ow. Maybe I should be playing roulette or something.

...

*Starts stealing the nails that hold together the roulette table* These'll do.

[Grandy]

Grandy: *climbs out of Moose's mouth* I've got the nails!
Razor: I've got the wood!
Archem: We've got the glass!
Razor: Time to get to work!
*moments of hardwork later*
Grandy: *admires the handywork*
Building: *it's a pile of wood in which a glass was nailed*
Razor: Mmmaybe we should hire someone who actually knows how to do this stuff.
Warxe: Or I could
Razor: No Warxe. Okay guys, let us go to a quest to find someone to build us a Pub!
Everone: AYE!

And so they did, all those who hang on the pub went in a magnific journey, full of mystery, danger and romance, in order to find them a builder who could build a new pub at afoordable prices.

Eventually they made it to the top of the highest mountain of their country.

(Note: To fully enjoy the next paragraphs, portrait everyone with alpinism equipment and dressed as yodelers)

 Razor: *looks down* There it is, the town that is said the best builder in the world lives.
 Warxe: What, are we going to hire him?
 Razor: Nah, are you crazy? No, we'll ask him for directions about where does the cheapest builder in the world lives. Moose, clear the way.
 Moose: *is carrying a table in which Red is spinning (red is also, somehow, wearing a yodeler hat)* Sure thing. *starts eating the snow that was blocking the way*
 *the group starts making their way to the town*

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: *Shivers* Snow tastes like cold. *Passes out*

[A Forgotten Legend]

AFL: Could it be...? Moose's weakness...?  *Takes notes*

[Grandy]

 Razor: Yeah, we need another way to clear our way so we can be on our way to the town that is that way. Grandy, find a way to take this snow out of the way.
 Grandy: *kicks the snow in Razor's face*
 Razor: This is getting old you know.
 Grandy: To you, maybe.
 Warxe: I have an idea.
 Razor: No, Warxe.
 Warxe: It's not summoning.
 Razor: I'm listening.
 Warxe: Well, first I invoke this-
 Grandy: *kicks snow in Warxe's face*
 Razor: Yeah, I see what you meant, it's pretty amusing to watch.
 *in the background, Moose slowly freeze down.*

[Archem]

Archem: *pulls a beer from the snow*
All: *wtf?*
Archem: What? I needed it to be chilled first! *reveals the rest of the beers*
...
Archem: *cries at the instant disappearance of the rest of the beers*
All: *refreshed*

[A Forgotten Legend]

AFL: Hm... I wonder if I'll get in trouble for drinking this...

[Moosetroop11]

AFL: *On fire* Well I guess that answered that question. At least I'm warm now. And in immense pain.
Razor: Let's not waste this amusing opportunity! Use AFL to melt the snow! Warxe, carry red! Grandy, drag Moosetroop along! We'll all reach the town yet!!!

Archem: Wait! I hear a fell voice on the wind...
AaaAAAaaaAAAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA!!!
Grandy: It's Saruman!!! He's trying to bring down the mountain!!!
Razor: No, it's Archem. *Slaps Archem* stop it.
Archem:

[Dragonium]

Tomi: *Farts*
*Pub members are buried in avalanche*

[Grandy]

 *everyone under the snow*

 Grandy: *muffled by the snow* Oh, now you did it, Tomi. I knew that one day your farts would cause us more trouble than they are worth of.
 Tomi: *muffled* sorry guys.
 Razor: *muffl* And now AFL isn't on fire anymore, way to go Tomi.
 Tomi: *muf* I said I'm sorry!
 Warxe: *m* Everyone who is at favor of throwing Tomi of the mountain say "Aye"
 *lots of muffled ayes are heard*
 Warxe: Okay, let's push him!
 *the snow starts to move, sudenly Grandy pops out of it and is thrown down the mountain*
 Warxe: *muffled* Did we get him?
 Tomi: *muffled* Uh... yeah!
 Warxe: *muffled* Good, that'll teach Tomi a lesson about farting!
 Razor: C'mon, to the village.
 ----
 50 meters below

 Grandy: Good thing this fluffy snow below me prevented my injuries.
 Villageman: Actually, there's no snow down here, you broke throgh my glass roof, got cut by glass shards, and fell into my pointy rock collection.
 Grandy: Well, that sure explains the feeling of pointy rocks in my back.
 Villageman: Do not worry, we'll help you through putting more needles in your body.
 Grandy: This makes perfect sense!

[A Forgotten Legend]

AFL: We could've just got a bunch of Mexicans to do it... (SORRY IF YOUR MEXICAN!!!!!!  I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE FUN OF YOU....)

[Dragonium]

Angry Mexicans: *Murderize AFL, but in stereotypical Mexican style do a really half-assed job of it*
Dragonium: Alright. We need to dig out of here. What do we have?
Razor: Bottle opener! *Brandishes bottle opener*
Dragonium: No.
Archem: Spork! *Brandishes spork*
Dragonium: No.
AFL: Sundae! *Brandishes sundae*
Dragonium: Definetely not.
Warxe: Polar bear! *Eaten*
Dragonium: No.
Tomi: *Farts*
Dragonium: Grandy, don't do that.
Razor: ... Hey, where's MT11 and Red?
[[Elsewhere...]]
Red: *Sliding down the mountain using MT11 as a sledge* I LIKE THINGS!!

[Archem]

Archem: I am offended. But it's cool, we already know it's the truth...
AFL: Well, I already apologized...
Archem: I know. We forgive you *stabs AFL*
AFL: AAHHHH! I thought you said you forgive me!!
Archem: I do, but we also stab people.
Razor: I think I'll take this moment to say that I have no beefs with Archem!
Archem: *waving knife about* Well then, that's good for you. *stabs Razor*
Razor: But I ha-
Archem: It's a sign of respect and/or endearment. *stabs Warxe*
Warxe: Does this mean-- ?
Archem: No, I just wanted to stab something.
Warxe: *bleeding*  

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: *Slides off mountain and onto the pointy rock collection where Grandy is being poked with sharp objects* Hey Grandy.
Grandy: Eh? You defrosted?
MT11: ...yes. Yes I have.
Grandy: Well, good. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation so I won't ask. How do you reckon we can get back up the mountain?
Villageman: Well, well, well, looks like you two pub members need help from this poor old pointy rock collector who may or may not have an airship.
Grandy: Yeah, if you have one that'd be-
Villageman: WELL, WELL, fancy pants theif needs help from stinky pete villageman.
Grandy: Yeah, I guess I d-
Villageman: WELLity WELLity WELLity.
Grandy: Stop that!
Villageman: Yeah, I got nothing.