Charas Pub

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: *Burps* I've digested worse things than that coma inducing drug. It has had no effect on me at all!

Robo nurse: Oh my god! he's woken up!

Robo nurse 2: Welcome to the year 2008, sir. Where robots rule and everyone travels in tubes!

MT11: Nooo! I've been in a coma!!! I've loist everything! The pub, it's inhabitants, my railcard... Ah well. At least the robo nurses are hot.

Robo nurse: Exterminate! *Fires machine gun bullets*

MT11: *Wakes up in the pub in a pool of vomit* Oh why did I give her a gun???

[Archem]

Archem: *walks in* Yo, dawgs!
Grandy: Hey, it's Archem! I thought you were dragged off by... Uh... My imagination... *looks around uneasily*
Man in a Suit in the Corner: *nods approvingly, disappears into the shadows*
Archem: Oh, f'real, G. Dem foo's dun drugg'd m'off to dat whack place whur they did sum kind a brain surgery or sum shi-. But whatev. I'm still here, dawgs. I also got this reul crunk scar across mah for-hed. Real gangsta. *quotes Scarface*
Razor: That's the Archem we all know and love! Glad to have you back!

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: *Crosses arms* Word.
Grandy: Stop that.

[Meiscool-2]

Meiscool: *Runs into room naked* Where did those gnomes go? *exits*

[Archem]

Arch-Rizzle: Yo, dawg, dat cracka's whack! Word!
AFL: Did- Did you just change your name to "Arch-Rizzle"?
Arch-Rizzle: F'real! Dayum, we need us sum biches up in dis ho!
Biches: *get up in dere, yo*
Razor: Oh no! Nonononono! I want none of this riff-raff in my pu-
MIC: *runs by in the nude* -MY pub! *vanishes in the nude*
Razor: ⌐_⌐... Meiscool's pub.

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: All this nakedness reminds me that I'm not wearing any clothes.
















































...cool.

[Grandy]

Grandy: Neither I for the last few hours. *is dressing the cape... and nothing else*
...
*cape breezes*
Grandy: It sure is windy around here.

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: Oh yeah. I left the giant industrial fan on.
Grandy: Damn fine, that fan.
MT11: Superior quality. I'd say in a fan contest between two fans, this being one fan and the other being a randomly selected fan, this fan would outfan by far.
Grandy: A bold statement, but a warranted one. A short browse of this weeks 'fan and windmill' magazine reveals a telling verdict upon the efficiency and overall blowing power of said industrial fan. It is quoted here as "Fan-tastic".
MT11: Deservedly so.

Razor: just... put... some bloody... clothes on...

[Grandy]

Grandy: Will do. *puts somes bloody clothes on, meaning, clothes made of blood, meaning, throws blood on himself*
Razor: Great, now we've gone from pornography to Gothic pornography.
Grandy: My clothing is a plus. O+.
Razor: Just... shut up.
MT11: *still naked* So, as I was saying, I'm a big fan of fans, and most importantly the windy sensation they make in my privates when they are on.
Grandy: God bless the private wind.
Priest: Amen.
Razor: Who the **** are you?
Priest: Well, it's a funny story, me and this rabbi here walked into this bar, and--
*long tale later*
Priest: --this is what happened.
Razor: Okay, so let me get this straight. You are convicted by murder, the rabbi is banned from his village, a greater evil has been released by your hands in the bar across the streets and now you and him are on a quest to seal it again?
Priest: That is the tale.
Grandy: That is the worst joke I've heard.
Razor: Anyone who's willing to throw the priest and the rabbi out of the pub say "aye".
*silence*
Razor: What's wrong with the lot of you, it's the first time you guys refused a free beating.
MT11: Razor... it's just that... you know how these priests are...
Grandy: Yeah, I've heard stories. Once a man laughed at this priest and the next day the man had turned into a newt.
Razor: Did he get better?
Grandy: No. He died after a car ran over him.
Razor: I see... these priests are more crafty than I had first thought...
Priest: I'm right here you know.
*everyone freezes*
*a circle is fromed, everyone mutters*
Razor: okay, lets do it.
Everyone: *walks whistling and trying to look distracted up to the priest*
Razor: NOW!
*everyone jumps at the priest*
*cartoonish fight cloud*
Grandy: Grab his hand, he can't cast his godly spells that way!
MT11: Don't look at his eyes, it brings bad luck!
*clouds dissipate, the priest is tied up*
Razor: That'll teach ya to be crafty in MY pub.
Meiscool: *walks by*  MY pub. *walks away*
Razor: Wait, where is his comparse.
Rabbi: *is trying to sneak away*
*everyone jumps at him*

*later*

Grandy: What will we do?! If we release them, they'll put a blessing on us!
*the priest and the rabbi are gagged and tied on the floor*
Warxe: I heard my cousin once got blessed by a priest and the next day he was found dead.
Razor: Who said you so?
Warxe: My cousin.
Grandy: I heard if a priest writtes your name on the bible, you die in 40 seconds.


-----

AND this is getting ridiculous, plus I have no idea what else to write. Someone else finish this.

[A Forgotten Legend]

AFL:  Really?  Hm....   *hands pen and bible to priest*  write Grandy's name.  NOW.

Priest:  *writes in bible*

*40 seconds later*

*Archem dies*

AFL:  I SAID GRANDY...  wait...    Why Archem?

[Archem]

Archem: Because I'm awesome. And a ghost. A ghost of a ghost of a ghost, to be exact.    
Razor: That's amazingly queer.
Grandy: So how did the priest write a name when his hands are tied up?
AFL: Oh, I untied him so he could write your name down. WHICH HE DIDN'T!
Razor: Oh dear...

[Meiscool-2]

Razor: I can't take this anymore! *runs into the center of a high-speed car chase*

[A Forgotten Legend]

Razor:*is hit by car*
Meiscool:  Finally!  My pub is free of Razor!  Bwahahaha!
Razor:*wheels in on wheelchair*
Meiscool:  Dammit!!!
AFL: Ha.

[Archem]

Wheelchair: *squeak*
Light Fixtures: *fzzt*
Toilet: *flush*
Neon Beer Sign: *buzz*
Juke Box: *plays "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd
Beer Tap: *holds beer*
Pool Table: *explodes*
Archem: Man! This place is noisy when nobody's talking!

[Bluhman]

*Suddenly, Tevye and Lazarwolf rush in!*

Lazar: Razor!
Razor: Eh?
Lazar: Drinks for everybody!
Grandy: Alright, what's the occasion?
Lazar: I've gotten myself a bride!
*Bluhman rushes in after Lazar*
Bluhman: That's right; he married Sai'Kar.. Wait...
Razor: Sai-... PFFT...
Tevye: What's the matter? She's my oldest daughter!
Razor: No she's not, you don't have any daughters!
Tevye: You nut, I have five daughters!
Gaston: Who said you could come in here?!
LeFou: Yeah, you guys aren't allowed in here!
Gaston: Let me do the talking, shorty.
Tevye: Why am I not allowed? As the good book says...
Bluhman: Finish that sentence and I'll fire.
Russian Singer: ZACHAVA ZDAROVIA, HEAVEN BLESS YOU BOTH NAZDROVIA!
Lazar: Why, thank you.
Bluhman: *Shoots Russian Singer* Damn singer...
Gaston: Now, my song. When I was a lad I ate five dozen eggs every morning to get healthy and large, and now that I'm grown I eat ten thousand eggs so I'm roughly the size of a baaaarge!!!
LeFou: Eh, Gaston, It's ten DOZEN eggs.
Gaston: What?
LeFou: You do not eat OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND Eggs every morning, do you?
Gaston: I don't know... How is it possible to even eat five-dozen egg-GACK *Has a heart attack*
LeFou: Gaston! Are you alright?!
Bluhman: Geez, it only happens when I'm around, does it? *Leaves the Pub*
Razor: Alright, thats it, you clowns get out of here.
Tevye: But drinks! We must all have a glass of schnapps to celebrate Lazarwolf's fortune! L'Chaim!
Razor: We don't serve schnapps... Do we? And what kind of name is Laserwolf anyway?! WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE!?!?