Share you best jokes here.

[Big_Duke]

"Megaman X Explodes on the PS2!"
*Explosion*
"My PS2!!!!!!"



"Puttin on the ritz"
"You're sittin on some ritz?"
"Puttin on the ritz"
"Timmy's trapped in the well?"

[Razor]

Originally posted by Big_Duke
"Megaman X Explodes on the PS2!"
*Explosion*
"My PS2!!!!!!"



"Puttin on the ritz"
"You're sittin on some ritz?"
"Puttin on the ritz"
"Timmy's trapped in the well?"

Those are your best?

[Big_Duke]

I've got more, just don't want to waste on the first.
Well I'm gonna go.

[Razor]

Well I certainly don't get them. Surely there's a context you can put to these?

[RuneBlade]

Originally posted by Big_Duke
"Megaman X Explodes on the PS2!"
*Explosion*
"My PS2!!!!!!"

Best...joke...evar

[Drace]

Duke... those are so dumb that even yo momma is smarter.

[Emerates]

So a guy walks into a bar, and he hasn't had anything to drink in three days.
He asks the bartender, 'Barkeep, could I PLEASE have something to drink?  I haven't drinken anything in three days, and I'm about to collapse from exhaustion....'
The bartender says to the guy, 'I'll tell you what.  If you drink some out of that spitoon over there, I'll give you a free drink.'
The man agrees.
He goes over to the spitoon, holds it up to his lips, and begins drinking.
After 5 seconds, the bartender tells the man, 'Okay, you can stop now.'
The man keeps drinking.
The bartender watches the man, and after a few more gulps, he says, 'Okay, you really need to stop now.'
The man keeps drinking.

When the man finally finishes, the bartender just stares at the man and asks, 'How could you drink all the spit in that spitoon?!'
The man says, 'I would have stopped, but it was all one strand.'

[coreystranick]

Oh my god that was a disgusting joke. I love it!! I really don't have any extremely funny jokes.

[oooog]

A guy walks into a bar.  Ouch. -  Me, despite what you may think, I was saying this before it appeared everywhere.

I tried walking into Target once, but I missed - Mitch Hedberg

"Guess how many jelly beans are in the jar, and you win a prize."
"Awww come on man, lemme just have some.  Tell you what, you guess how many I want.  If you said a hand full, you are right." - Mich Hedberg

"What are you eating under there?"
"Under where?"
"HAHAHA, it sounded like you said underwear!  AHAHAHA"

[Tomi]

Emerates.

^ Yes, he is a joke....  (<- pun)

Confucius say:
man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
man who live in glass house dress in basement.
girl who rides bike pedals *** all over town.

[Revolution911]

So a guy walks into a bar, BAM. Cancer.

[Archem]

There's a ship out at sea with a bunch of sailors on board. They've been gone a couple of months now, so none of them have had any decent sex. There's this one guy, we'll call him "John", who asks an older crew member "Hey buddy, when do we get to go somewhere to get laid?". Well the guy replies "Son, we don't reach land for another year o' two. But I can suggest you an interesting alternative." "Oh really?" John says. "And what might that be?" "Well, at the front end of the ship you'll see a pink barrel with a hole in it, right? Well, there's a clipboard with a bunch of names on it. Just sign your name on the list, stick your dangle on in there, and you'll get what you need." "No way, that's just not worth it!" John says.

Well, a couple of months pass, and the older man says to John "You 'bout ready to try out the pink barrel?" John replied "No, not yet. So stop bothering me about that thing!" A few more months pass, and poor John is just about out of steam. So he goes up to the crewman and says to him "So, you just sign your name on the list, put your whatsit in the hole, and things are cool, right?" "Well, no one will think any less of you, most of the guys 'round here do it."

So, driven by temptation, John tries out the pink barrel, and is thoroughly satisfied. It was better than most of his land-based experiences, if you catch my drift. John liked it so much that he revisited the next day. And the next. And the next. One day, John goes up for his daily glory hole visit, and nothing happens. John goes up to the crewman and asks "Uh, I just went in for the pink barrel, and nothing happened. Is there something special going on today?" "No, son. But I do know what the problem is." "What is it?" John asks.

"Son..." the crewman says, "Today's your day."

[Drace]

Not the best, but I'm giving it a shot.


A colonel is assigned to a station in the middle east. He arrives there and one of the officers gives him a quick tour around the base. At one point, they walk past a camel that's standing behind a tent. Curious, the colonel asks the officer what that camel is for.
"Oh that. Well see sir, sometimes our men get... urges. Then they use that to satisfy them. It's not much, but all we have."
The colonel is disgusted, but decides to keep the camel. After a few months in the base, the colonel is getting his own 'urges', so he decides to give the camel a try. He asks the officer to bring the camel to his tent and puts a lil' step-on behind him. The colonel then starts to have sex with the beast like he never had before.
"So this is how the men do it?" He asks after he's done.
"Well actually," the officer replies with wide open eyes, "the men use the camel to take them to the brothel of the town that's 4 miles away.

[Bluhman]

Here's one I found kinda funny. The only one I can remember off the top of my head at the moment.

So, you're in a bar, and a sea pirate-type person walks up and sits next to you. He has all three a Peg-leg, a Hook, and an Eyepatch. Curious, you ask him how he lost his leg. He replies:
"Arr, a great shark bit me leg off during me sailing."
You then ask him about his Hook.
"A rabid seagull rended me hand to the marrow."
You then ask him about his Eyepatch.
"Arr, t'was my first day with me new hook."

[MrMister]

Big Duke = awful threads