Share you best jokes here.

[Ace of Spades]

This is probably offensive.

Ok, a Mexican, a black guy and an American come across a magic lamp and out comes a genie. The genie says that he'll grant each person two wishes. The Mexican wishes all of his people to be rich, and returned to his country. The black guy wishes all of his people rich, and then returned to his country as well. The genie asks the American what he wants, and the American says "The blacks and Mexicans are all out of America? Well uh... guess I'll take a cheeseburger and a Coke."

[Revolution911]

Originally posted by Ace of Spades
This is probably offensive.

Ok, a Mexican, a black guy and an American come across a magic lamp and out comes a genie. The genie says that he'll grant each person two wishes. The Mexican wishes all of his people to be rich, and returned to his country. The black guy wishes all of his people rich, and then returned to his country as well. The genie asks the American what he wants, and the American says "The blacks and Mexicans are all out of America? Well uh... guess I'll take a cheeseburger and a Coke."

Was funnier on boondock saints.

[coreystranick]

WARNING! MAY BE OFFENSIVE!
That out of the way, I am doing this joke from memory i haven't heard it in the longest time, so I don't think I started it off right but you get the same idea.

A Mexican is waiting to become a citiizen. To past the test he msut use Green,Pink,and Yellow in the same sentence.
So the Mexican says, " The phone go Green,Green,Green;I Pink it up and say 'Yellow'."

[Ace of Spades]

Originally posted by Revolution911

quote:

Originally posted by Ace of Spades This is probably offensive. Ok, a Mexican, a black guy and an American come across a magic lamp and out comes a genie. The genie says that he'll grant each person two wishes. The Mexican wishes all of his people to be rich, and returned to his country. The black guy wishes all of his people rich, and then returned to his country as well. The genie asks the American what he wants, and the American says "The blacks and Mexicans are all out of America? Well uh... guess I'll take a cheeseburger and a Coke."

Was funnier on boondock saints.

Indeed, had to edit it a bit so as not to be 'too' offensive.

[Emerates]

There were two muffins sitting in the oven.

One looks over to the other and says, 'Man, it's hot in here!'
The other says, 'Whoa!  A talking muffin!'

---------------------------

If the power of one of Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks could be harnessed, it could power the entire continent of Australia for 14 minutes.

[Dragoon de Sol]

you mean IN fourteen minutes

[Meiscool-2]

Originally posted by Ace of Spades

quote:

Originally posted by Revolution911 quote: Originally posted by Ace of Spades This is probably offensive. Ok, a Mexican, a black guy and an American come across a magic lamp and out comes a genie. The genie says that he'll grant each person two wishes. The Mexican wishes all of his people to be rich, and returned to his country. The black guy wishes all of his people rich, and then returned to his country as well. The genie asks the American what he wants, and the American says "The blacks and Mexicans are all out of America? Well uh... guess I'll take a cheeseburger and a Coke." Was funnier on boondock saints.

Indeed, had to edit it a bit so as not to be 'too' offensive.

Why'd ya edit it? The internet is a planet of offenciveness!

[Kinslayer]

Doctor: "I have some news for you, one is good and the other is bad..."

Patient: "Well, tell me the good one first"

Doctor: "You have 24 hours of life..."

Patient: "How can that possibly be a good new?! What's the bad one?!"

Doctor: "I found about that yesterday".

[PyroAlchemist]

Originally posted by Kinslayer
Doctor: "I have some news for you, one is good and the other is bad..."

Patient: "Well, tell me the good one first"

Doctor: "You have 24 hours of life..."

Patient: "How can that possibly be a good new?! What's the bad one?!"

Doctor: "I found about that yesterday".

Nice nice lol

[Ace of Spades]

Originally posted by Meiscool

quote:

Originally posted by Ace of Spades quote: Originally posted by Revolution911 quote: Originally posted by Ace of Spades This is probably offensive. Ok, a Mexican, a black guy and an American come across a magic lamp and out comes a genie. The genie says that he'll grant each person two wishes. The Mexican wishes all of his people to be rich, and returned to his country. The black guy wishes all of his people rich, and then returned to his country as well. The genie asks the American what he wants, and the American says "The blacks and Mexicans are all out of America? Well uh... guess I'll take a cheeseburger and a Coke." Was funnier on boondock saints. Indeed, had to edit it a bit so as not to be 'too' offensive.

Why'd ya edit it? The internet is a planet of offenciveness!

Well, I for one am not keen on using some of its choice words.

[Weerd Thing]

Patient: Doctor, my body hurts everywhere?

Doctor: Can you tell me where?

Patient: Right here *points to leg* OW! And here *points to arm* OW! And everywhere else!

Doctor: Hmm... I believe you have a broken finger.

W££rd

[Revolution911]

Originally posted by Ace of Spades

quote:

Originally posted by Meiscool quote: Originally posted by Ace of Spades quote: Originally posted by Revolution911 quote: Originally posted by Ace of Spades This is probably offensive. Ok, a Mexican, a black guy and an American come across a magic lamp and out comes a genie. The genie says that he'll grant each person two wishes. The Mexican wishes all of his people to be rich, and returned to his country. The black guy wishes all of his people rich, and then returned to his country as well. The genie asks the American what he wants, and the American says "The blacks and Mexicans are all out of America? Well uh... guess I'll take a cheeseburger and a Coke." Was funnier on boondock saints. Indeed, had to edit it a bit so as not to be 'too' offensive. Why'd ya edit it? The internet is a planet of offenciveness!

Well, I for one am not keen on using some of its choice words.

******.

[Ruler of the Dark]

Bush is sitting at his desk when an advisor comes in to tell him how the war in Iraq is going.  He tells Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers died that day.

Suprisingly, Bush doubles over onto his desk, clutching head in hands, trembling.  After a bit, he calms down and straightens up.
He asks his advisor "Please tell me, how much exactly is a Brazillion?"

[Meiscool-2]

heh, nice play on words.

[Beck Skyler]

Q: What would someone like you end up with if, say, for the sake of argument (or more accurately-for the sake of this particular joke), that you were a scientist working in the field of experimental bio-engineering, and you made an erstwhile effort to genetically cross JFK with KFC?
A: All of our best data indicates unequivocally that you would get John Fitzgerald Chicken.