Charas Pub

[karlc]

kc *kicks the door open* *walks in and runs out the back door*

[Bluhman]

*Bluhman runs after Karlc, and grabs him up by the collar.*
Bluhman: What. Was. THE MEANING OF THAT!?!?!?!?
Karlc: Uhhhh.... Duhhh.... Spam?
Bluhman: ...

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: Fight! Fight! Fight!

UAE: Drag... We stopped fighting two hours ago.

EXO: Yeah, we like, totally reached a mutual agreement and accepted each other's terms. Or something.

Dragonium: Uhh... Great. What else happened while I was chanting?

UAE: Nothing much. Oh, and that guy came in.

Person Made From Rowntrees' Fruit Pastilles: Hello there! *Waves*

Dragonium: Hmm.

Mid: *Walks past*

Dragonium: Uhh, Mid? How can you be here, and in there with Drace?

Mid: I'm multi-tasking.

EXO: Drag does that.

Dragonium: No, I half-task. Frequently. Now I am going to go and get a drink. *Walks off*

EXO: ...

Dragonium: *Returns holding an empty glass*

EXO: Drag, that glass...

Dragonium: Half-tasking.

[EXO Muffin]

[Meanwhile...]
Guy: Don't you be takin' mah beer! *beer grab!*

Delivery Guy: That's not beer; that's--

Guy: What? *twitch*

DG: Huh...? But, but...wasn't that gasoline?

DG: Must've gotten the wrong type of ethanol!
[bum bum BUMMMM!]

[Back at ze olde puybe...]
EXO: Hey! I thought I exploded! Aw, man. Oh, well. I guess I'll just LIGHTEVERYONEONFIREOMGHAHAHA!!!

EXO: Ninja Voltron Jesus mode...ENGAGE!

[dooo dodo do do dooo da dunnabumklaboodaloo...]

EXO: The power of the Pink Lion!

[Pink Lion transforms into humanoid leg]

[Pink Lion fuses with EXO's right leg]

EXO: The power of the Yellow Lion!

[Yellow Lion transforms into humanoid leg]

[Yellow Lion fuses with EXO's left leg]

EXO: Hyaaawhanchya! *goes into Swan position* Hayeeeeee...SKRAH! *pulls out sword and slashes forward*

[Katana flames and glows while EXO's hair turns blonde and spikey]

EXO: Palm of the Christ!

[Orchestral music plays]

EXO: *chants and crucifix fastens unto hand* Hommmmm...*Halo glows on head*

EXO: Ninja Voltron Jesus mode initiated!

Meiscool: ...n00b.

EXO: Holy cybertronic laser slash! *holy-cybertronic-laser-slashes Emerates*

[OMG LIEK DAMAGE=a=a^2^a!]

EXO: Ha! Ha! Ha ha haha ha! Hahaha ha haha ha! Hah...haha!

Emerates: Why's he laughing?

EXO: o.<

EXO: ^.<

EXO: >.0

EXO: Y-yee-yom-yabber you're not dead?!

Emerates: No. This is a dream, idiot.

[EXO wakes up]

EXO: Argh!

Jek: *zips pants up* *smiles*

EXO: Holy--

[wakes up]

EXO: Stupid chain dreams!

[Moosetroop11]

MT11: *Rides in on a monocle* I want to know what the hell is going on here.

[Emerates]

Emerates: *sees MT??, salutes*  Sir, EXO Muffin is being an idiot agian, SIR.
MT11: I see.
Emerates: And I got into a fight with EXO Muffin, SIR.
MT11: Mmhmm.....
Emerates: And I found the sword of +10 n00bslaying, SIR.
MT!!: You did what?
Emerates: And I found the sword of +10 n00bslaying, SIR.
MT11: *covers eyes* you can't see me.
Emerates: Yes, SIR.  Now, I must depart on the quest given to me by Archem in my welcome thread.
MT11: Okay, but you still can't see me.
Emerates: *elegant bow* Now, I must depart...  *Leaves with Sword of +10 n00bslaying*

Tomi: I wonder if he knows it's just a broken bottle....
MIC: If it gets rid of Jynce, who cares?
Drace: Mid?  Where'd Mid go?
EXO: I think she said something about multitasking.
Drace: Oh, may God have mercy on our souls... *dons cross necklace*

[WarxePB]

Warxe: You know, the pub is still on fire...

[Meiscool-2]

*Two months later, many weeks after Exo Muffin, Jek, Emerates, and Naruto in general have stop visiting the pub.*

Mid: Drace... I have something to tell you.
Drace: I know, I know, your happy pills still haven't come in the mail yet. Let's ****.
Mid: No, Drace, this is important....
Drace: What could be more important then sex?
MIC: He's right.
Drace: What's he doing her with you?
Mid: Drace, I'm pregnant.
Drace: What!?
Mid: And MIC is here becaus-
Drace: You whore!
Mid: -e he wanted to see the look on your face.
MIC: Priceless *takes picture*.
Drace: Wait... I'm gonna be a father?
Mid: Oh heaven's no. It's not yours.
Drace: That was close.... wait, what!?
Mid: Oh heaven's no. It's not yours.
Drace: What do you mean it's not mine?
MIC: As in, you anit the baby's daddy.
Drace: I know that... You whore! MIC is the father, isn't he!?
Mid: LOL
MIC: Hahahaha
Drace: What's so funny?
MIC: The thought of me inpregnanting Mid.
Mid: hehehe, lol! MIC can't be the father. He has no penis.
MIC: It's true, I have no penis.
Drace: Wow... dude... I'm sorry.
MIC: Oh, I don't feel bad. You're the one that should be feeling inept.
Drace: What do you mean?
Mid: Drace, MIC is a better lay then you.
Drace: This is to much truth for me to hear at one time! Wait... if I'm not the father... and Meisdickless isn't the father... then who is?
Mid: Oh, that's easy.
Drace: WHO!?!?
Mid: Indiana Jones is the father you silly silly.

[Archem]

Archem: I knew it! I knew it all along!
MIC: Where the fuck have you been this whole time?!
Archem: Sipping beer out of the toilet... You're better off not asking.
MIC: You'd think so, but no. What the hell were you doing drinking beer out of the toilet?
Archem: Well, fuckin' Mimo threatened to release some incriminating photos to the public unless he got some other somewhat less incriminating photos. Anywho, I had the weirdest hallucination! I was getting it on with Mid in Drace's bathroom! Several times! And in a sexy third-person view! How come nobody ever told me that I look just like Drace, but sexier?
Tomi: Hmm... How come we haven't seen Mimo in a while?
Archem: He went to Death Valley a few pages ago. Duh.
MIC: Sooo... Incriminating photos, huh? Well, let's assume I had some of these photos... Which I may or may not... What are you willing to do to keep them unreleased?
Archem: ...Molest your ass?
MIC: Dude, you are fucking sick...

[Drace]

*2 months earlier*

Drace: *holds his cross*
Warxe: The flames! Argh!
Indiana Jones: I'll save you! *flies into the window with a rope and lands next to Mid.
Mid: Wanna have sex?
Indiana Jones: The pub's on fire... I nee... Yes.

*current time*
Drace: Hmmm... Ah well.
MIDickless: So what are you gonna do?
Drace: Well get me a new Mid clone of course.
MIDickless: O_O

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: Never fear! I have a cloning machine!

EXO: Why do you just happen to have a cloning machine?

Dragonium: This year's must-have accessory. Now I'm going to create a clone for Drace.

Warxe: Guys, the pub...

Dragonium: Shh! Right... "Input Clone Target". That's... "M-I-D. Mid". And... Go!

Machine: *Whirrs*

Clone: *Steps out of cloning machine*

Drace: Drag... That ain't Mid.

Dragonium: It must be. I put in the name. Mid.

Drace: And, perchance, did you type it in Capital Letters?

Dragonium: Yeah.

MIDickless Clone: Howdy!

Drace: Drag...

Dragonium: Must you find fault with everything I do?

[Moosetroop11]

MIDclone: NoW I wIlL claIm MiD aS mY oWn
MID: No! Only I can have her!
Drace: Yeah, and me!
Jones: And me!
Mid: I wish I'd listened to my mother and never come to charas >.>

MIDc: FoOlS. fIrSt I wIlL aQuIrE a PeNiS. tHeN mY sPaWn WiLl DeVoUr YoU aLl!!!

Narrator clone: Could this get any more dramatic? What will happen next in the charas pub???

Mid: My water's breaking rediculously early!!!
Drace: So is mine!!!

[Emerates]

Emerates: *Runs into pub with fire extinguisher and mysterious satchel*  I saw the smoke, and thought I'd come to save all your lives!
MID: We don't really need you to.....
Drace: Yeah, sex can do that.
Emerates: *Sprays out fires*  Yep.
Tomi: What's in the bag?
UAE: Oh, just.....  Jynce's head.... <.<
MID: You killed Jynce?
UAE: Um, yeah.  That was the first quest I was given.
Drace: So, you killed Jynce...
Tomi: With the sword of +10 n00bslaying...
MT11: You can't see me
UAE: Yes.  Hey, Indiana Jones!
Jones: Hey kid.
UAE: Guys, this guy is my uncle!
Everyone: What?
UAE: Yeah, my real name is *cough*c Jones!
Tomi: It all makes sense now....
E Jones: Yeah, I got an e'mail while hunting down Jynce that he was havin' a kid with Mid, and that they were gonna get a really bad picture of Drace, so I figured I'd come pay a visit to my uncle.
MID: But, that means...
E Jones: Yes. MT11 and you are in no way related.
Tomi: Yeah.  We already knew that.
E Jones: Whoa!  MIC has become so full of himself that his ego had to be split into two bodies!  One of which is naked and has no penis....  o.0
Archem: *whispering* Neither does the other one....
MID: Actually, that guy's a clone.  But is that how you really feel?
E Jones: <.< No..... >.>

[Dragonium]

MIDc: Now, I shall destroy you all! Fwahahahaha!

Dragonium: Umm... How?

MIDc: I intend to think of that very rapidly. Anyways, die! *Throws a muffin*

EXO: That's my trick! *Dives on MIDc and wrestles him to the floor*

Tomi: Dude, he's naked.

EXO: Argh! *Dives off MIDc*

Dragonium: There's only one thing to do! *Summons an army of chavs*

Chavs: Arr! 'It 'im, like! 'E's complete dickless, innit? *Other chavness*

MIDc: *Kicked like heck*

MT11: Wow, they do have a use!

[EXO Muffin]

EXO cackles,"Oh, you pitiful fools! You have forgotten that I am still in Ninja Voltron Jesus mode! Ha! Haha ha! Haha ha...haha ha!"

EXO says,"...ha. Ha. Um...that was just in my dream, wasn't it? Aw..."

EXO replies to Dragonium,"But I shall battle your chavs with my army of emos! KLAHASPAKLAGUAHHAGA!"

EXO commands,"Go! Go; my emo army! Bleed on them or something."

[The scene where the emos fire blood at the chavs and then eat them, somehow, has been cut out for the discretion of minors.]

"Hehehehe. Now, emos, go and eat the pub because I don't like pubs! I only like tavernsss!" said EXO.

[OMGEMOSEATINGAPUBLOL?!!111!one!]

Meiscool screams,"Noooooooo.....my beeeeer!"

Drace swears,"You'll pay for this!"

EXO sputters,"Oh, my dear Drace, but I will! I have secretly altered the multipolymogrifier into a chronoporter! I shall now travel to the back to in time for futuring presents!"

EXO gets in the time machine with the emo army and travels back...to the year of 1497!

EXO laughs,"Ahah huhyuck krahizzle floppity floop!"

Indiana Jones argues,"We'll catch you in the back time so when altering the past for a travelbacking a time for futuring a presents, with my super-secret, Aztec, ancient, lemon-scented, Time Monkey idol!"

Archem utters,"Shweeeeeet."

Indi exclaims,"Everyone huddle with the monkey!"

"Ewwww...." Tomi spat.

Narrator: What will happen in 1497? What things will the gang encounter? Will EXO stop making the lame muffin jokes? Who knows?! Tune in next time on...

TEH K4ras$ pUb!